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__________ The goal of this website is to give support to people who are facing problems in their relationship related to cheating, abuse and narcissism. I am living in Europe and English is not my native language, I wish you will excuse me if I make some grammatical errors. I have a background in neuroscience and behavioral sciences and I am currently doing brain research related to these topics in university in my home country. I decided to write in English because I wish to reach as many people as I can around the world. If you wish to read more about me, please visit page Site Overview.
__________ You have experienced all sorts of emotions during your lifetime. Emotions are body's responses to certain situations. With emotions your physiology is trying to push you to a certain direction in your life, to a direction which evolution has found to be a good one in order to enhance the survival chances of our species. If this was not the case, evolution would have gotten rid of the emotions long ago. Every human being has emotions, they must therefore have been very useful and beneficial for the survival of the species. Those individuals who have good traits in terms of the survival are able to keep their genetic line going more effectively than the individuals without those traits, so eventually the “good” traits become common and the “bad” traits become very sparse and eventually will disappear completely from the population. So far emotions have not disappeared from the population, so obviously they are crucial for the survival. Control your emotions instead of letting your emotions control you Pain caused by a bad relationship
You may think that is a pretty silly advise. But when you think about it for a moment, you realize that it is the best advise there is. When you realize that it actually is true, you will most likely feel relief because now you know exactly what you need to do: You simply need to live your life and not to think about the pain so much unless you absolutely have to, because no matter what you do, the pain will go away on its own, at its own pace. It is just as simple as it sounds. You can decide what you think, you can shut away the unwanted thoughts. Shut the pain away for a while, give your mind time to heal on its own. Later you can think about the matter which caused you the pain if you want to, and you will see that the pain is not nearly as severe as you thought it would be. Time has done its job. But for now, do not allow yourself to be buried by the thoughts related to the matter that is causing you the pain. Close those thoughts outside. For the moment, they do not exist in your world. You have the power to decide what kind of an attitude you take in a painful situation. You can suffer and dwell in a heartache and try to fight it, but if you do that the same thing happens to you as happens to an animal that is trying to escape the trap: It will only hurt more and it takes longer time to heal. Or you can suffer and dwell in a heartache AND observe your situation scientifically, as an outsider, in which case you are actually lifting yourself above your pain and it will pass sooner, leaving no permanent scars. - Maria
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You have a problem in your relationship and it is causing you mental pain. Your situation is not unique. The pain you are feeling has been felt by others billions of times throughout the course of the history. You are not alone with your bad feeling and your feeling will pass, giving in to the sunshine at some point. Do not give in and return to a bad relationship just because it would temporarily reduce the pain. Be patient and wait, the pain will definitely go away at some point. Meanwhile you can do what people do when they are sick and are waiting for the annoying weakness to pass: You can read, watch movies, go for walks (this is what sick people of course cannot do, so you are luckier in this situation), do sports, meet friends. Anything that takes your thoughts away from the pain. Then just wait for the pain to go away.
Last March of 2010, wast the month that I cough my wife cheating on me. Going back to time, I believe she met him in July 2009, but their romance took place in November 2009,and she abandoned me in April 2010.
I know that as a child, she was mentally abused by her parents, especially her father and it could the main factor why her betrayal behaivor.
Her first time she did it was 21 years ago.
At that time she did it with her first husband and she came to my life as a result of that.
Now, that is 20 years later, she brings someone else to her life, while she cuts me off from her life.
When I confronted her, she admited, but the pain in my heart was the equivalente of having an operation without anesthesia.
I end up in the Hospital. I end up having counseling and she acts as nothing as occurred to the contrary, she asks me to "stop being the victim".
Her lover is a pastor. She reads the Bible every night from 10:30 pm to 11
How is that possible, when both of them are blaspheming to God and both of them played with my emotions and feelings?
He is 56 while she is 51. How is possible at such age?
Kirk.