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___________ The goal of this website is to give support to people who are facing problems in their relationship related to cheating, abuse and narcissism. I am living in Europe and English is not my native language, I wish you will excuse me if I make some grammatical errors. I have a background in neuroscience and behavioral sciences and I am currently doing brain research related to these topics in university in my home country. I decided to write in English because I wish to reach as many people as I can around the world. ____________ Learn to Control Your Emotions
In addition to getting over cheating or an affair, mind control methods described here can be used to teach the brain to cope with the stress and depression caused by a relationship with a narcissist. In order to heal you must learn to let go of the negative memories. Controlling your emotions will help you to see your situation objectively. If you wish to receive personal assistance and feedback regarding your situation via email, please read the instructions at the end of this page. If you wish to read personal stories of people who have been in a relationship with a narcissistic partner, please visit section Stories - Narcissism. To read the stories of people who have experienced cheating in their relationship, visit section Stories - Cheating. I am publishing new stories in these sections on weekly basis, please feel free to return for updates. If you wish to use your experiences of cheating and narcissism to help people around the world and generate income while doing it, visit page Use Your Experiences to Help People. ___________ You have navigated to these pages because you are experiencing negative emotions related to narcissism, cheating or an affair. Your husband or wife may have left you after cheating or an affair occurred, you may have left your spouse after you found out about cheating or you may have made the decision to try to save your relationship after cheating took place but you are having hard time forgetting the memory of cheating. You may feel extreme anger and pain when you think about the matters related to cheating or an affair. Painful memories may come to your mind at unexpected times, causing you emotional suffering, anxiety, depression and sadness. There is a biological basis for your painful emotions related to narcissism, cheating and other tragedies in life. If you understand why you feel the way you do it will be easier for you to control your emotions and get over the pain. If you wish to learn more about this topic please read article How to Control Negative Emotions.
___________ The Amazing Brain - How to Suppress the Pain  I know exactly what you are going through right now. I experienced the same emotional pain when I found out my spouse had been cheating and lying to me. I am currently doing brain research in university in my home country. I became interested in the mechanisms of the mind and the brain which are responsible of the feelings of depression, anxiety and sadness related to tragedies in life such as cheating or living with a narcissistic spouse.
Think of the pain from an evolutionary point of view. If you accidentally place your hand on a hot stove, you feel the pain. The pain serves as a biological warning mechanism, informing you that something in your environment is harmful for you. The pain is forcing you to act: You quickly remove your hand from the stove. Mental pain also serves as a warning mechanism. For example, you feel the pain after finding out about cheating because one of the basic elements in your life has changed: You thought you could trust your spouse fully but that turned out to be a false belief. You cannot continue your life as if nothing has happened. The pain you feel forces you to act: You will either try to stay together with your spouse, regain the trust and mend the relationship or you will leave your spouse (you remove the element that is causing your pain). Human brain is more flexible than one would think. We have the power to influence the way our brain is working in certain situations, in same fashion as it is possible to teach the brain for example to get rid of various phobias, such as the fear of rats or snakes etc. A good example of the mind control is the ability to block the sensation of physical pain from entering the brain. In same fashion one can learn to suppress the mental pain related to the emotional withdrawal symptoms after ending the relationship with a narcissistic partner or to suppress the pain related to the memory of mental abuse, cheating or betrayal. We do not have to go with the flow, we can control the way we feel and the way our life will evolve.  There is a physiological basis for the mechanism of the voluntary control of the brain and the mind. It is possible to teach the muscles in our body to move in new ways while learning to ride a bicycle, to dance etc. In same fashion it is possible to "train" the brain to react in certain ways in certain situations. It takes time for the brain to change, for better or worse. Your behavior will determine how fast or slowly you will recover after cheating or stressful relationship with a narcissist.
If you dwell on negative memories related to cheating and try to drown your grief into alcohol or isolate yourself from the world, you can be sure that the neuronal networks in your brain related to negative thoughts will be strengthened and your recovery will take longer. But if you decide to "force" your brain to adapt different kind of approach by using simple mental and physical exercises you can significantly speed up your recovery and learn to deal with negative emotions related to the memory of cheating or an affair. To understand better what I mean by training the brain to adapt different kind of approaches in certain situations, visit page How to Control Negative Emotions. The most important thing for you to do right now is to get rid of the mental pain caused by the memory of cheating or unhappy events related to your narcissistic spouse. After that you can decide what you wish to do with your life. You may wish to stay with your husband or wife or you may wish to go your separate ways. Whatever you decide it is best that you make your decision with a clear mind, not when your thoughts are clouded by pain, depression, anxiety, anger and frustration. ___________ Survival Package after Cheating or Mental Abuse During my period of healing I wrote a book about the recovery process after mental tragedies such as cheating or living with a narcissistic partner. My goal is to give factual scientific insights regarding the mental pain and to introduce ways to help the mind and the brain to heal faster. The book includes practical tips and information regarding what one can do to speed up the recovery.  The most important thing for you to do right now is not to let the actions of your husband or wife influence the quality of your life any more than they already have. The aim of this book is to help you to get over the feelings of anger, depression, anxiety and sadness and gain control of your emotions. When this has been achieved you can decide what you wish to do with your life and with your relationship. If your husband or wife has left you and is not willing to continue the relationship, this book will help you to get over your grief and move on with your life.
If you wish to read the book you find download instructions at the end of this page (book is in pdf format which makes it convenient to read). In the end of the book you find section "Survival Package After Cheating" with instructions of what you can do to ease the pain after you found out about cheating or betrayal. The book is easy to read and emphasis is on practicality. You can start the recovery process right now by downloading the book. Tomorrow you will have a whole new view of your situation and a clear idea of what to do to help yourself to get better as soon as possible. The download fee for the book is 15 USD. You will receive your copy of the book within 24 hours after making the download payment. Payments are processed through a secure Paypal payment service. Payment can be made either with your existing Paypal account or with all major credit cards or via bank transfer (if this service is available in your country). If you are not familiar with Paypal and wish to know more about the service, visit www.paypal.com. For more details of the download process of the book, please read the download instructions below. In addition to getting help for your own situation, by downloading this book you are helping me to maintain and further develop this website so that more people can find help from here. If you wish to participate in the development of this website for example by producing content to be published, please feel free to contact me by email. I would be happy to hear from you and get your feedback regarding the book and this website. - Maria If you wish to use your experiences of cheating or narcissism to help people around the world and generate income while doing it, visit page Use Your Experiences to Help People. ___________ Personal advice and feedback Please familiarize yourself with the book Learn to Control Your Emotions (see previous chapters for more details). After reading the book please send me email by clicking
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and describe your current situation. Tell me if you have been through some of the emotional phases described in the book. I will respond to you within 24 hours and will give you my feedback regarding your situation. You are not alone. Together we will get you through this difficult phase in your life. You can also contact me by posting to discussion forum. Please register and activate your account as a user at www.cheating-infidelity.com. I would be happy to give you support and feedback regarding your situation. Please do not hesitate to write. ___________ Download instructions
You can download the book by clicking the download link below to go to secure Paypal payment service page where you can make the download payment. The download fee for the book is 15 USD. The payment can be made with your existing Paypal account or with all major credit cards or via bank transfer (if this service is available in your country). After your payment has been received you will receive an email with a link to a private member page on my website where you can download your copy of the book (the book is in pdf format). You should receive this email within 24 hours after completing the payment. Should you encounter any problems at any stage of the download process, please contact me at
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- Maria Searchforbalance ___________ Payment methods  
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Aloha Maria, Mahalo for your website and for sharing what you have experienced and gone through in your life. I felt I had no one to turn to for help or advise because no one that I knew could relate or even understand what I was going through. So I turned to the internet and found your website and realized I wasn't alone. Just knowing that made me feel a whole lot better.
