Signs of a Cheating Husband

Your husband is paying more attention to his looks

This is very common sign of cheating husband. If your husband has suddenly started to pay more attention to his appearance, that can indicate he has interest towards some other woman and he wants to impress her. Of course there can also be other reasons for this kind of behavior, but usually when men start to take better care of their looks it is to impress a woman. That is why this potential sign of cheating should be taken seriously.

If your husband has started to do more exercise than usually and has started to buy new clothing on his own, you can pose an innocent, half-joking question to him (such as "are you trying to impress me or some new pretty colleague") and see how your husband reacts to this. If he gets uneasy, that might be a sign your husband is cheating on you or is thinking of having an affair with another woman. Your husband might also get defensive and angry and start to accuse you of being too suspicious. If your husband reacts like this, you should be alarmed. If your husband is not having an affair or if he is not interested in some other woman and attempting to impress her with his new looks, there is no reason for such an excessive reaction to such an innocent question.

Your husband is guarding his computer and cell phone

This is another serious sign of cheating husband. If there is nothing to hide, why would your husband mind if you see what he is doing with his computer or to whom he is calling with his cell phone and sending text messages? Of course we all have right to have our privacy and it is natural that your husband may not want you to read his emails or look into his cell phone, but if you observe a clear change in the behavior of your husband in this regard, you should be alarmed and treat it as a possible sign of cheating.

The behavior of your husband has changed

Your husband may have become more distant or alternatively more affectionate towards you. Becoming more affectionate can be due to bad conscience because of an affair or cheating. Of course if your husband becomes more affectionate towards you, you should not immediately start to suspect your husband is having an affair. But if you see other potential signs of cheating described on this page in addition to his sudden interest towards you, you should be alarmed.

Your husband is spending more time away from home

Sudden increase in the amount of "boys nights out" or other activities outside home may be a sign that your husband is having an affair. Being away from home more than before is very common sign of cheating husband. If your husband loves you and cares for you, why would he not want to spend his time with you? Of course it is natural that your husband wants to have his own time and space, we all need some private time for ourselves. But if there is a sudden increase in this kind of behavior, it can be a sign your husband is having an affair.

Your husband becomes angry and defensive when you ask if he is having an affair

Imagine if your husband asked you if you have an affair (and you would not have an affair at that moment). How would you react? You would most likely simply deny having an affair instead of becoming furious and starting to defend yourself. But if you would have an affair and you would not want your husband to find out about it, you would most likely invest a bit more time and effort in hiding your affair, when your husband is asking about it. If your husband is cheating on you, you see this kind of defensive reaction when you ask if he is having another woman. This is serious sign of cheating husband and it should alert you to dig deeper to see if your husband really is having an affair.

Remember that there are people who get very insulted and angry when they are being accused of something they have not done. You alone know the personality of your husband. If his reaction is different from his reaction in other situations when he has not done something and is being asked about it, then you should be alarmed and take it as possible sign of cheating.

If you find out your husband has been cheating on you, you find help for dealing with your pain from this website. I have written down the results of my literature search and some of my personal experiences of how to recover and heal after cheating. Human brain is an amazing device. It is possible to teach the brain to work in new ways, in same fashion as it is possible to train the body to move in new way while learning to ride a bicycle, to dance etc. Proper training can help you to control your negative emotions related to cheating instead of letting your emotions control you. You can read more about this topic from page Healing after Cheating.

If you wish, you can read more about the content of this website and about my background from page Site Overview or go to other sections by clicking Main Menu links (left bar).

- Maria

If you wish to submit your own story and get feedback and support for your situation or if you wish to contact me for any other reason, send me email to This e-mail address is being protected from spambots. You need JavaScript enabled to view it

Comments (10)

|2012-01-19 22:48:38 Sophia Lavoi - I would like to hear the rest

I would like to hear the rest of your story please?
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|2011-11-23 10:04:31 Ebyan

,./
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|2011-09-29 23:25:33 Ian - am i narcasistic

Ok, at risk of being slated! And actually by being on here am I being narcasistic? I left the army, after joining at the age of 16. 26 years ago. I saw some pretty horrific things and on top of that I had been abused physically and sexually as a child. I was kicked out of the army after attempting to commit suicide at the age of 22. I was homeless, and I met my wife and we go married, I was 23. For the first time I was hppy, she was fantastic, we have had four children together and she is my best friend, however over the 15 years I have had times where she is aggressive, to the point I have worried about going to sleep at times. Anyway I have recently been working away from home, well two years ago and this means I am at home only for weekends. Anyway in 23 years I have not cheated but I am in a job where I work a lot with women and I have recently been invited to have a relationship with two women. I am unhappy with my marriage because o don't feel 'loved' I always have to initiate kissing, when I come home she just sits there, and its me that goes to her and cuddles her. When I said I think the marriage is over I was told well you can have the kids! Which wouldn't be a problem but added to this she drove the car into a busy road and wrote a car off! So what do you suggest??
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|2011-11-10 01:32:19 Isis - What I suggest

I suggest you have a conversation with your wife and get a divorce, but do not run for the women who asked you to have a relationship! Going from unhappy marriage to being divided between two women, it's simply mere suicide and it will backfire on you.
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|2011-08-22 05:12:01 ruth - Been through and know of others who are going thro

Just know you are not all alone. It is an epidemic. Narcissism is alive and rampant. That is what all these guys have and some women as well. Selfish childish pathological liars and cheaters. They crave attention, adoration, and everything is about them. The extramarital sex is about control as they are control freaks. They can't control their lives, so they control yours. They are never sorry and never feel remorse. It is all about them. It's a no win situation. They don't change most don't want to or don't know how and most do not care as they do not feel like a normal healthy person. They are mentally challenged and often have other mental conditions mixed in. Your best bet if you happen to get involved with one...get out for your own sake. They seek energy supply from you and when they feel they cannot get anymore, they move on. When you question them about their actions,lying,whereabouts, they shut you out and have no use for you. Many see you as nothing more than a maid and like their mother. SO I hope you all get out of the situation you may be in because you are in love alone as the other party does not feel love toward anyone but themselves. Real whack jobs. True insanity! Narcissism cannot be cured. Best wishes Folks!
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|2011-07-03 22:07:20 ms nobody - when ur husband cheats , know that u are the secle

Its heart breaking when ur husband loose all the interest in you and home and kids only because of his thirst for lust and he gets attracted towards another woman. In Islam he dont even feel guilty because they think its allowed, irrespective of the terms and conditions. But when u r a MOTHER , then let that power go over all the rest, detach yourself from him as much as possible, leave your reward and his punishment upon our creator , but dont move on, stick to that place for the sake of your kids. If u look at your husband through your kids ur feelings would not be that painful and if u look at the family through your relationship it would be depressing and very painful. Know for a fact that he is not urs anymore but keep his name and relation as if you r doing it for kids.Maybe i am wrong but this is what i feel after i spent almost eight years with my other half and now he told me on my face i have married another girl two months ago. Allah Ho Akbar( Allah is the ultimate power and inshallah he will take care inshallah)
love for all those who r facing such things in life.
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|2011-11-23 10:02:37 Ebyan - sister islam

Sister I really admire you, i don't know how you stay this strong, i wish all the best.
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|2011-06-14 13:49:02 julia - Cheating once? Game over. Part I

Before I begin, I want to start by saying that I realized and all women SHOULD realize that the first time a man cheats on you, the marriage is over. No ifs and buts about it. The entire process of cheating began with deciaion after decision that this man or in the case that you are reading this, YOUR man made to spend time with another woman and NOT you. Phone calls made not to you, hours spent falling in love, every single decision constantly in his mind, should it be my wife or her? he chose her again and again and again until it reached the point where it affected his behavior to such a degree that it manifested itself in the "SIGNS YOUR HUSBAND IS CHEATING " category. Once your husbands behovior is on the 'LIST ' of signs that "your husband is cheating" the marriage is OVER with a capital O. For your husbands behvior to have gotten to the point where he joins millions of other men in the signs of infidelity, it means he has inserted his penis fully and with pleasure into another woman and is turned on enough to not be able to control his behavior. You have lost him.

I don't want any feedback. I wanted to share my story to show that the lists of things that say what the signs of him cheating are are true and accurate. Check google: and put in "how do you know if your husband is cheating on you" and the signs listed are your heads up. ALL men regardless of the culture, act the same when they cheat so heed the signs regardless of how YOU feel about your man.

In my case, we had been married about six years when last november of 2010 my husband began to get verbally abusive and absent himself a lot from the house. One of his most biting nasty remarks was when I was complaining about his constant lateness and absence from the house. He said "I hope the police come home one day and tell me you had an accident, I would be so happy." then "why do you always smell bad? I hate to have sex with you because you stink so bad" As you can see, very nasty and mean statements were my first clue. He was mean and unlike the rather kind and passive husband I knew. He went out late and later. He said he was with his friends. He bagan buying new jeans, sexy tight jeans, put a lot of cologne on, brand new shoes, not sneakers but shoes. asking me how he looked before he went out. No sex anymore. feelings of loneliness. I was sleeping fitfully one night not understanding this behavior or even knowing about the "signs your husband is cheating on you" when the phone rang. I answsered it was a man. he was calling my husband zak's phone and was asking for a woman named Bonnie. I told him he had the wrong number. An hour later at about three in the morning he called asking for Bonnie, then again, an hour later and again and again. I explained that he had the wrong number. I told him that he kept calling a number of a married man and that my husband was sleeping and asked him to verify the number. it was the right number. the man was persistent and asked for Bonnie again at nine in the morning. I said "look honey tell me who you really are, why you keep calling my husbands phone number for Bonnie and stop this constant calling." he sounded sad and said he would tell me the truth. His girlfriend's name was Bonnie and she was missing. It was now Sunday and he had not seen her since Friday morning. He said he went into her room and found a piece of paper on her dresser that said "Zak. " and had the telphone number next to it. He then called Bonnie's friends and they all, including a girl named Jessica said that she was always with a man down at the Reid Avenue deli named Zak. Talking and hanging out with him. The poor man sounded heartbroken and pretty much told me that his girl had run away with my husband. I looked into our bedroom and saw my husband sleeping soundly. He had told me he was going to go to Atlantic City and spend the night there the night before but said he had been too tired to do that so he came home and slept. I told the man on the phone that I did not know where Bonnie was but that Zak was in the bed sleeping. I said I was sorry about his Bonnie but Zak was with me. We never spoke again but I woke Zak about an hour later and asked him who Bonnie was. He loooked frozen and did not move. he asked me why I was asking. I explained that her boyfriend was looking for her and insisted that he was the man Bonnie had left him for. He said no. This was the beginning of the end of our marriage.

This is a very long story, if anyone cares enough to hear the rest of it please notify me. If I get ten requests to finish the story, I will take the time to do so, if not, just know that my marriage is over and I am alone now making the decsion to get on with my life.
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|2011-09-14 05:50:44 Jan - I would like to hear the long story

I would like to hear more so that I can know how to see these signs.

I am so sorry for all you went through.
Jan
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|2009-12-12 14:03:41 MARY MULHOLLAND - coping emotionally

Hi Marie i just came across your site by chance. My husband and i have parted after 30 years together. he cheated with girl, who was his bosses wife. who is 18 years his junior. hes 48. He was so devious and has turned really nasty towards. ive sold our martial home and moved, i could not afford to stay anyway, but needed my own base. My daughter lives with me, she is 22 and i have a son who is 27, altough he has his own place, i see him regularle usually once a week, but by phone or text everyday. Its annoyed me the way he has treated me, but also our children. He has basically turned his back on them as well, which i find very very hard to cope with. Please can you help, we have separated 8 months now.
Mary
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