Almost 4 years ago after being single for sometime I thought I met the man of my dreams . Almost too good to be true and now in hindsight should have thought of the old saying if it sounds too good to be true...........

While courting me he was like an old Cary Grant. That is the way I use to describe him. So charming and romantic. Always surprising me at work and giving me flowers. I dont drive and he lived almost 1 1/2 hours away and would pick up and come down on a whim to surprise me to just say Hi or take me to dinner. Anyway two people that did not like him are my sister and what was my best girlfriend but I allowed him to destroy that relationship.he managed to make me beleive she was a bad friend and my sister no good to me either. But again now looking back on the beginning it wasnt the case at all..........He already knew those two could pose as a threat as they could see right thru him. Anyway to make a long story short. Left my home, my friends, my job and job security to go move in with the man that promised me the world. From the moment I stepped thru the threshold everything changed. I just couldnt believe it. For the first year I beat myself up trying to figure out what was wrong. He was cold distant, the romance just stopped. He would make excuses if I tried to get close to him. He just pushed and pushed and pushed. And dummie me I never ever thought cheating was in the picture. Oh how he must have been in his glory to capture such a "fool" and I hid it from everyone after all how could I let people know that my prince charming was actually a snake? So I cried myself to sleep most nights the first year. The second was pretty much the same either silence or crying or anger. And when we would go out together with friends here oh we were the couple so much in love. Again just charming and doting and oh such a "catch" and as soon as we would get home........the silence and distance again. And lets talk about a temper. Omg. His road rage is insane and god forbid should I say I dont want to ride with him . We cant even go to the corner store without him acting like an asshole. He works at home as well. Thats another chapter...and again the tantrums if something doesnt go his way. Banging, slamming, mocking me as I would say to him well just walk away and come back to it dont get upset hon and he would mock me and say that over and over. The emotional roller coaster I have been on is insane and I am crazy for being here and most of all for lying to everyone and pretending Im living this fairy tale life when it is nothing short of a nightmare. I have no money. the money I did get from the job I left is gone thanks to me letting him control it like everything else. I dont drive never have. Cant go anywhere here without him. I dont work. I help him here with his business which is again another story. Lies Lies Lies all of it and I have never been a bad person and intentionally lies and or deceived anyone or try to hurt them and now im living with a monster. He needs Viagra to get it up as we arent youngsters and I found one in the back of our van and finally the alarm went off in my head and hit me like a freight train. He was cheating on me??? He goes on the road a lot for business calls and mostly housewives and women well to do ? Now I get why he hasnt touched me in three years.........and to top it off........we got married...........had my old co-workers who i would talk to via the net asking when the big day was going to happen? How could I tell anyone my dirty little secret ? So of course we got married. Two not one honeymooons which again the sexual part was non-existant. What is wrong with me? How can I be such a glutten for punishment? How could he have made me feel so little of myself and have no respect for myself and my self-esteem? I use to be the belle of the ball? Life of the party.......fun loving loved to dance and have fun..........my friends loved me........now i have no one............all for Love??? such a fool........never again So now in order to escape him my only option with the situation I am in basically only owning the clothes I have is to move in with my 83 year old mother. Dont get me wrong I love her but I dont want to live with anyone at this stage of the game. I miss the old me..........miss my old life............miss not smiling.........and hate the lies im living. hate the lying and pretending. I want to smile for real and stop this fake smile that i must display when out in public with him..........im so tired and so lonely.........and really just wish I would not wake up. My father died a few months ago and I really would just love to join him and not be in anymore pain..........How could I have been such a fool..............I thought I was smarter than that.............use to say I was so street smart growing up in the big city.........such a fool........ and I feel so bad to read that there are so many more out there . who have given their lives to these people.....I have never felt such anger and rage. he has at times just gotten so under my skin and I can honestly say that if there were a gun in the house I would have shot him by now if not myself and or both of us. I honestly could never comprehend another human being shooting another until now. He has sent me into such fits of blind rage that I can honeslty say I would have done it if the opportunity presented itself. this is such an insane situation and I now believe im the crazy one not him. How as soon as i moved in here and saw the change come about literally overnight ....I cant understand how I let my pride cover all of this up . I have cheated myself out of happiness..........

Need some advice after 17 yrs. the last couple of yrs. not easy my wife asked me to leave, which i did 6 months ago. Over the years she had constant bouts of bad temper and found out she was seeing other men, did have an affair three years ago,and just two months after i left she went on holiday with her new man its taken me 5 months to start to feel normal again well a bit normal, we have three children two of them 13 and 18 still live at the family home she comes home most nights always in a bad temper and on more than one occasion has hit the children, and she stays with her boyfriend Wed night and every Weekend and drinks a lot on these occasions. she never shows any guilt and often makes things up to argue over the phone being very nasty. she is never wrong and the children say when at home seldom happy so they say. I have had two opinions put to me she is narcissistic or going through a MLC i am a lot older 49 and my wife 37 i am trying to get on in my life but she keeps pulling me in with problems and i am not happy the way the children are feeling when we do meet from time to time keeps and always keeps stressing she as moved on i have excepted we are over, never under any fantasy to get back and did say i have put the past behind me  and forgive her so i can move on its was strange sent her an Email stating I wished her well for the future and on that evening she was on the phone shouting and threatening me over nothing this goes on at least once a month.
she has hit the girls couple of times and my 13 yr. old boy is starting to play up saying he is very unhappy.
If i put down over the years all the distrust lies anger and put downs, controlling nature I could write a book i was very successful in my younger yrs. but lost my business a few yrs. ago when she asked me to leave i was at my lowest, but knew i needed to leave for my health.
I left the family home with nothing no money car except the love for my children, I have started to turn things around very good business prospects when meeting my wife last week after she made some storey up for me to meet up her attitude did take me by surprise very complimentary about how good i was looking and was asking about my new business.
From past experience I know how she operates did not read into this to much but i being honest did let my mind wonder a little.

 Any advice greatly received

Help keith

I have just completely ended ended a 3 year relationship with a nar.He said I love you Sunday and then did not call me for 3 weeks and said it was over To this day, He could not let me go but could not go forward. I tried to figure him out until yesterday when I said 'enough' 'I am done'. He was so angry and of course blamed it on me.It was a blessing to read your website. Thank you D2

Thank you for this website. I was feeling destroyed. The more I search the Internet, I realize this is happening in so many people's lives. There is a name for it and there is so much information. And most important of all, there is a way out and there is life after a N.