http://www.cheating-infidelity.com/Home/ Wed, 08 Sep 2010 12:11:08 +0100 FeedCreator 1.7.3 http://www.cheating-infidelity.com/Home/index.php?option=com_content&task=view&id=75#josc222 Dear Maria, I have read your articles, I am sorry to hear what you have been through. I am glad you are now doing so much better! Thank you for putting up this website to help the rest of us who are trying to break free. Big hug, Elsi Elsi Thu, 10 Dec 2009 17:34:53 +0100 http://www.cheating-infidelity.com/Home/index.php?option=com_content&task=view&id=75#josc361 I have been seriously dating a cheating narcissist for 3.5 years now. I broke into his personal email and now have proof of him paying other women to be his mistress (he is very wealthy) He finds them on sugardaddy.com, I dont know how many of them there are but I have proof now of one. He is taking care of me and I dont have a job. I dont know what to do? I want to confront him about what I know but then he will know i went through his private emails. Please help me. Do i just leave him and tell him what I know? I saved a copy of the mistress email as proof. What can i say about knowing his email password? artzy Sat, 05 Dec 2009 03:07:04 +0100 http://www.cheating-infidelity.com/Home/index.php?option=com_content&task=view&id=75#josc371 Dear Friend, I am sorry to hear about your situation, it is a difficult one... If you tell him you have read the email, he will most likely get angry. In that situation anger also serves as a self-protection mechanism: He knows he has done wrong and so he is likely to get defensive. Whatever the reason for his anger, the outcome could be very bad for you. You are asking whether you should just leave this man and let him know what you know. This depends on your feelings towards this man. If you love him deeply and if you feel you would be very miserable living without him, then perhaps it is worth trying to solve things. If on the other hand you think you are never able to forget and forgive this kind of a betrayal, then it is better to leave now rather than to become more depressed over this, and perhaps also bitter as the time goes by. The best way would be if you could bring the topic up so that he does not realize you know his password (if he hears that, it will most likely only make him more angry). Perhaps you could say he forgot the email open and you went to computer and saw his email account open, or something like that? However, if you say this, he might still get angry, because most likely you had to go through many pages in his account to find that particular email(?), so he still feels you have been going through his personal things rather than just taking an accidental look at the open screen. Depending on the system he is using, perhaps you could say the email was saved to temp folder of the computer or something like that (but if he knows much about computers, do not say anything he can prove to be a lie, that will only make your situation worse). Dear Friend, please understand that I am not encouraging you to lie. You must decide what to do based on all the information you have. Of course the truth is always the best. If you think he can handle it, you can tell him directly that you went to look into his email, and that you know it was wrong and you are sorry you did that, and that you did it because you felt insecure. Admit that you have done wrong and do not try to deny it (I am saying this because if you try to defend yourself and justify your actions, he might only get more defensive and angry. If you admit you have done wrong, there is not much he can say to that. It might also help him to feel better about it: This way he realizes you are not the kind of a person who thinks it is generally ok to go through other people\'s email, but that this was an exceptional situation). However, in some cases it is better not to say directly that you checked the email, particularly by using his password. If you for example think he might turn violent or throw you out on the street, then do not tell you read the email. You alone know this man, you alone can make the decision of what to do. I believe it would be best if you could somehow talk with him about this topic, for your own sake. Even if your relationship will end, you would not have to carry this inside you, not knowing what his explanation would have been. For better of worse, I believe it is best to let him know that you know... Unless you believe you are strong enough to live with this information, without telling him. Again, you alone know your situation well enough to decide this. Please feel free to send me email if you wish to have more feedback regarding your situation. I would be happy to hear from you! Warm hug, Maria Maria Wed, 09 Dec 2009 15:00:13 +0100 http://www.cheating-infidelity.com/Home/index.php?option=com_content&task=view&id=75#josc384 Artzy, save yourself by behaving as though you never even knew and by being your usual self until you can get it together and get out of that situation. It may take a few months, but if he has not alienated you to the point that you have no one to turn to, find someone that can help you financially, so that you are not dependent on him...do not let him know in any way that you are on to him! Mon, 14 Dec 2009 14:39:48 +0100 http://www.cheating-infidelity.com/Home/index.php?option=com_content&task=view&id=75#josc385 thank you very much for the advice. That is exactly what i have decided to do. I am secretly looking for a jb and have gone for two interviews. As soon as I can secure full time employment I will leave his ass and he will never know what i know. He has a horible temper so it is best not to confront him. I will just leave. Thank you - thank you - thank you I am so happy i am not alone Mon, 14 Dec 2009 17:15:15 +0100 http://www.cheating-infidelity.com/Home/index.php?option=com_content&task=view&id=75#josc386 Dear Artzy, I agree, especially if he has a bad temper you should not reveal to him that you know about this matter. In my previous response to you I was viewing all possibilities in an independent manner, but now after hearing more details about your situation I really believe you have done the right choice. This way you make sure he cannot hurt you. Also, I believe it would have been very difficult for you to trust him again after this kind of a betrayal, even if you were somehow able to continue the relationship. Now when you mentioned his bad temper, I really agree that you should keep this knowledge to yourself and prepare your leave in silence. Please keep writing and let us know how things are going with you. My thoughts are with you! Warm hug, Maria Maria Mon, 14 Dec 2009 17:43:40 +0100 http://www.cheating-infidelity.com/Home/index.php?option=com_content&task=view&id=75#josc757 Hi, After 15 years of marriage and having 2 children my husband and I decided to have one more child. When I was 9th month of pregnancy my husband said he needed to go for business trip but promised to be back by the due date. Then he telephoned and told me that he could not to come on time. I delivered a baby girl without him. My older children and my parents supported me. When the baby was 10 days old the husband returned. In 2 days time somehow I learned that he was not alone on his business trip. The fact is that he was with his lover when I was 9th month pregnant and was delivering our baby. I cannot describe the pain I went through and still going through. Now 2 month have passed but it still hurts and will hurt for a long time for sure. I will not be able neither to forgive nor to forget that betrayal. He begs me to forgive but I can\'t. He swears that he loves and needs me but of course I don\'t believe and don\'t trust him any longer. My older children do not want me to divorce. They are in difficult age - 14 and 12 years old. And I don\'t want to hurt them. I am in a difficult situation for I really don\'t know what to do. Nora Sat, 20 Mar 2010 19:48:44 +0100 http://www.cheating-infidelity.com/Home/index.php?option=com_content&task=view&id=75#josc1225 I have been divorced from a NPD for about 20 years. His aunt and I have stayed friends all these years. After her death I learned she had left me some valuable prints in her will. She had told me she wanted to leave them to me. However the ex NPD found out and became mad. He went to her house and took the prints claiming she gave them to him. Now it looks like I will have to go to court to get them back. The executor knows this is wrong but does not want to mess with him. Your articles state not to make them mad because they will want revenge. I have not bothered him in 16 years and he still out for revenge. He divorced me and left me with 3 children whom he seldom sees. Do I just let him have them and stay out of his way? I don\'t think I can play his game. Thanks, BeeGee beegee Mon, 24 May 2010 02:28:04 +0100 http://www.cheating-infidelity.com/Home/index.php?option=com_content&task=view&id=75#josc1374 :( Hi,i understand my girl cheated. i even understand why. but why does she keep doing it and why do i love her so much yet she continues to make a mockery out of our love and has made that i practically hate her BRIAN Fri, 18 Jun 2010 06:45:38 +0100 http://www.cheating-infidelity.com/Home/index.php?option=com_content&task=view&id=75#josc1450 Hi, Sorry to hear your story,it is devistating what happened to you.I also was also pregnant and found out even on the day I was in labour that my husband went to his ex-girlfriend instead of going back to work when I was in false labour.If this makes you feel any better,I told him the marriage was over I kicked him out.At the time my baby was 10 weeks old and twins 2 yrs old,he tipped me over and that was it for me! He also shows all the signs of a narcissim,nearly one year on now since we seperated,next month I file for a divorce. Rach Fri, 25 Jun 2010 12:02:01 +0100