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Helping Your Brain to Heal - Recovery After Experiencing Cheating or Narcissism in a Relationship Print E-mail

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The goal of this website is to give support to people who are facing problems in their relationship related to cheating, abuse and narcissism. I am living in Europe and English is not my native language, I wish you will excuse me if I make some grammatical errors. I have a background in neuroscience and behavioral sciences and I am currently doing brain research related to these topics in university in my home country. I decided to write in English because I wish to reach as many people as I can around the world.

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Problems in a relationship can lead to emotional pain and depression

It is not uncommon to develop symptoms of anxiety and depression as a consequence of being in a relationship with a narcissistic person or after experiencing cheating.  Depression is a condition that takes long time to develop. Often one is not aware of being depressed until condition is already quite advanced. At that point it often takes medication and therapy to restore the emotional balance.

Before the actual "breakdown" occurs one has usually felt slightly depressed, anxious or stressed for quite some time, often several years. People who have experienced prolonged emotional of physical abuse or other problems in their relationship are often suffering of mild or moderate depression without being aware of it. If you feel your general level of happiness has decreased lately and you feel stressed, tired or anxious, this article will introduce ways to help your brain to recover faster.

Lumosity Brain Training Program

You can begin the recovery process by starting to improve your brain today. All you need is your computer. No special software or other equipments are required. You do not need any additional skills and you do not need to download anything to your computer. If you are able to browse this web page, you are able to play the brain training games created by Lumos Lab.

Lumosity brain training games are based on vast array of research results that have been published in respected peer reviewed scientific journals. The developers of the Lumosity games are prominent scientists in the field of neuroscience. These brain games are the result of collaboration of scientists in different universities, such as Stanford, Harvard, Berkeley and UCSF.

 

Lumosity brain training program has been received well by the scientific community, by the users and by critics. Below are some comments of the reviewers from well known sources:


“Lumosity presents a wide range of exercises that target different mental processes.” - LA Times

“We can indeed form new brain cells, despite a century of being told it’s impossible.” - New York Times

“Lumosity was the program I was most eager to play each day.” - Scientific American

"Surprisingly fun games using real neuroscience research to improve your attention, memory, and even peripheral vision." - Women's Health

"Significant improvements in cognitive functions such as memory and attention were noticeable within a few weeks of training."- NBC Cleveland

"…designed to make users sharper in everyday tasks, improving memory, process speed, attention and cognitive control with fun but effective online workouts." - PCMag.com

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Getting rid of the emotional pain

Your painful thoughts are the result of certain kind of activity pattern in the neuronal networks in your brain. If you are constantly thinking about the matters related to the problems in your relationship, you are strengthening the neuronal networks related to negative emotions and hence your recovery takes longer.

If you are forcing your mind and your brain to engage into activity that requires your attentional resources, the activity of the neuronal networks related to negative thoughts decreases. As a result of the decreased activity, the networks related to painful memories start to lose their strength.

This kind of plasticity of the neuronal networks makes it possible for us to learn new things as well as to forget the unimportant information. When the strength of the neuronal network related to a certain memory has decreased enough, the memory is forgotten. This happens to us all the time. Without this kind of plasticity, our brain would soon be filled with unimportant information, making it hard to concentrate on relevant matters.

Your goal is to get over the emotional pain, hence to decrease the strength of the neuronal networks related to negative memories. When the neuronal network related to painful memories starts to lose its strength, the intensity of your emotional pain decreases. How can such decrease in the strength of the network be achieved?

You can influence the reorganization of the neuronal networks in your brain by doing mental exercises, in similar fashion as you can help your muscles to restore their functionality after experiencing a paralysis or other kind of trauma. Lumosity brain training program is a good option for people who wish to improve the overall performance of their brain and help their brain to form new neuronal connections. To find out more about the Lumosity brain training program, please continue reading. To try Lumosity program, click the link below. 

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CLICK TO TEST LUMOSITY BRAIN TRAINING PROGRAM - 14 DAY FREE TRIAL

 

Training the brain helps to overcome depression

Latest research results suggest that depression is caused by changes in the structure of the neuronal networks in the brain. These changes occur as the result of changes in the concentration of certain neurotransmitters that are participating in the regulation of mood, such as serotonin and dopamine. This view of the development of depression alters from previous views in a profound way. Previously is has been assumed that depression is mainly caused by alterations in the concentration of certain neurotransmitters and that if the biochemical balance of the brain is restored, the depression will subside. Antidepressants are helping the brain to restore the normal biochemical balance.

According to this new view of the basis of depression, the beneficial effect of antidepressants is indirect. Antidepressants increase the concentration of neurotransmitters that have positive effect on mood. Once the level of these neurotransmitters has returned back to normal level, structural changes occur in the neuronal network. "Structural changes" refers to the reorganization of neuronal networks. According to present views, depression subsides as the result of this reorganization. This information can be used to help our brain to recover faster after experiencing sadness and stress due to problems in the relationship.

If you are feeling depressed due to problems related to your relationship, these latest research results can be very beneficial for you: You can speed up the recovery of your brain with your own actions. If you sit home doing nothing, or even worse, if you try to tackle your grief by drinking alcohol, you can be sure that the recovery takes long time. From the point of view of the brain, alcohol is a depressant. If you are feeling depressed, the worst thing you can do is to consume excessive amount of alcohol.

Helping your brain to heal

Let us now discuss how exactly you can help your brain to heal faster. There are many things you can do. This article is introducing new methods that can be used to influence brain functions. These methods are based on scientific studies conducted in the laboratories around the world during last several decades.

During last decade, Lumos Labs has created the leading platform for games that improve brain performance. Their team of scientists has developed a method that improves the performance of the brain by using simple, enjoyable and effective scientifically tested exercises. These brain training games are designed to improve the performance of the brain in several key areas, such as memory and attention.

Carefully chosen simple games help your brain to form new neuronal connections. The formation of new neuronal connections is the basis of all learning. The brain of a child or a teenager is constantly forming new neuronal connections as new skills are being learned and refined. As we grow older, the formation of new connections often decreases since we no longer challenge our brain as we used to do when we were younger. The brain training games designed by Lumos Labs are helping the brain to renew itself.

Improving the performance of your brain helps you to overcome depression, stress and anxiety faster. You notice the difference after only couple training sessions. Today the brain training games of Lumos Labs are used by millions of people around the world.

Lumosity brain training games - Science in action

Lumosity brain training games are used by all sorts of people. Students use them to help develop their concentration skills. Elderly people use them to slow down and prevent the deterioration of the brain and mental functions. Brain training games are beneficial for anyone who wishes to improve the performance of his or her brain.

If you start to take care of your brain now, you end up living a healthier and happier life. It has been shown that Alzheimer's disease, Parkinson's disease etc deteriorating conditions are more common in people who are not using their brain. You do not have be one of these people.

The Lumosity brain training games are currently on tons of platforms (including Facebook, iPhone, and Palm Pre) and Lumosity brain training website has over 10 million members around the world. These brain training games have been scientifically proven to:

  • Improve memory
  • Decrease stress
  • Increase the ability to concentrate
  • Improve focus and speed
  • Improve problem solving
  • Improve general health

Make it a priority to take good care of your brain

It is just as important to take care of your brain as it is to take care of the rest of your body. Lack of exercise is known to increase the risk to develop symptoms of depression and increase the level of stress and anxiety. If you feel depressed and you have no energy to do physical exercise, you can start your recovery process by concentrating on the well-being of your brain. Once the performance of your brain starts to improve your general mood starts to improve as well.

The improvement of the mood is the result of the increase in the concentration of mood altering neurotransmitters in the brain. When you are training your brain on regular basis, the increase in the concentration of the essential neurotransmitters will eventually lead to structural changes as the new neuronal connections develop. The development of these new neuronal connections improve the performance of your brain and decrease the level of your stress and anxiety.

A sad person has no energy to take good care of himself or herself. Once your stress level decreases and your level of happiness increases, you will have more energy to take better care of yourself in general. All these factors contribute to your recovery.

How to get started

You can begin the recovery process by starting to improve your brain today. All you need is your computer. No special software or other equipments are required. You do not need any additional skills. If you are able to browse this web page, you are able to play the brain training games created by Lumos Lab. You do not need to play for hours on daily basis. All you need to do is to dedicate 5 minutes here and there during the day to enter Lumosity website and play some of the games. You will see that the games are both fun and interesting. Before you know it, you start to look forward to the gaming sessions and you start to feel more energetic.

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CLICK TO TEST LUMOSITY BRAIN TRAINING PROGRAM - 14 DAY FREE TRIAL

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Comments (47)
  • Adam  - wife cheated with another guy when husband does ev
    MY name is Adam I'm from Mississippi born in the country raised to work hard all my life raised in church college degree and married to my wife for eleven months. I work six days a week and pull twelve to sixteen hours a day. My wife and I have been together for nearly four years. AS we were dating everything was great the bonding the love the intimacy the sex. THen about a week before marriage she started to doubt. I encouraged her that we were meant for each other and we went through with it and things were okay. But soon I began to notice little changes. SHe wouldn't be AS open she would talk to other guys she would lock her phone she wouldn't ac.cept my compliments or believe when I told her she looked good. And the sex slowly became less and less. I felt like I was never able to satisfy her because she never came and always acted like she was ready to get it over with. NAturaly my reaction was to think she was cheating. I blew up on her and then broke down. We went on our first vacation to the mountains in October my favorite place. SHe told me she wanted to try a trial separation after it so I was miserable the whole time. ALso she told me she had been talking with another guy. After vacation she texted me and told me she was sorry for what she did and she would be mine. Well things seemed okay for a few more months until we were at the hospital because I got hurt at work and she told me she had her bags packed and she wanted to try a trial separation. SHe never left but I gave her three weeks to decide. This started on Thursday two weeks ago. SHe left me at home when she went out and left me at home in pain. I didn't know where she was. Then Friday she told me she wanted the separation and told me she was going to see some guy. SHe came back that night and said all he did was kiss her goodbye. SAturday we all went out with some of her cousins and we had a blast but she was always on her phone texting. SUNday I asked her to come to church with me cause they were having cake after. SHe said no she had plans. I came home alone that night and got texts from her about how she wanted to kill herself. SHe told me she made out with him. THen Wednesday the day after Valentine's we went out to eat and I took her shopping. WE got home and she said she was getting ready to leave. I knew she was going to see him but I let her go so she could work things out. I went and worked out came home and ate supper. I didn't hear from her for five hours. I cried I wept I couldn't sleep. I screamed out to GOd prayed and was in pain. Finally she came home. I asked what they did. SHe said you will hate me. SHe said that things got away from her and before she knew it her pants were off and he was inside her. SHE told him to stop andthey did. SHe asked me what I wanted her to do I said I've been in this situation before.and I forgave her. I asked her the next day what he did to make her do that and she said he just sat with her and watched tv with no pressure and cooked her dinner and it went from there. This Friday she told me that she loved me and wanted me but nothing about her attitude has really changed. ANd she still says she isn't sure or doesn't feel 100 percent. I do everything for her I clean up the house try to take care of myself and tell her I love her everyday. I Don't know what else to do to make her know and to be happy with me. I literally can't eat or sleep. And I Don't know what to do. I deeply love her I wouldn.t have married her if I didn't I just don't know what to do. HElp me please.
  • Lia  - yeap...
    live and learn... if she forgives you than great... the only comment i have is that you shouldn't have listened to the "friends" for all you know that was an adventurous time in her life and then she met you and finally wanted to settle down and be serious.... at this point all you can do is be understanding of her anger and be supportive...and above all, honest, tell her everything you said here - even about the friends... one of the biggest keys in relationships is being 100% honest, even about your failings.... and if she can't pull through it, dont force her... i was in a situation that sounds almost exactly like yours (only involved more cheating than that from him) and sometimes i wish he would just do me the favor and leave me so i wont have to hurt anymore : /
  • Jessie  -  :( Don't know what to do with how I feel...
    I just found out about 3 weeks ago that my entire relationship has been crap! He began cheating 3 1/2 years ago with girls he met online, through dating sites, or on Craigslist. He says that there was only a 6 month period where he actually engaged sexually with these women, while I was transferring to a new job in another state. I have found emails, texts, phone calls, and online messages going back to 6 months after we started dating. I am 4 months pregnant with number 2 and cry all the time. He says that he really screwed up and will never do it again. I have told him that we aren't together, just trying to make some sort of normal life at the moment for our first. I just don't know how to get past this. I don't know how to "recover" back to a relationship that wasn't real to begin with. I don't know how to deal with anything I'm feeling other than I want to scream and punch him in the face - really hard! I don't understand anything that has happened or what to do. Help?!
  • Amanda  - In the same situation
    Hi Jessie
    I am in a similar situation with my fiance. I met him 3 1/2 years ago and got preg. within 3 months of knowing him and caught him 4 -5 times with talking to girls on the internet etc. I forgave him and tried to make it work etc. on 12/31 I found out he had a entire realationship with another person for the past 5 months. I can not get it out of my head/mind etc. and what else he has lied to me about. If you want someone to email/talk id love to talk with someone in the same situation. email me at amanda@empowermentlivingservices.com
  • dragonwing  - where I am right now
    OK -my husband had an affair. yes i think I want to get over it and stay married- but it is so hard to do. Makes sense that the more you think about the infidelity, the stronger the “link to think” about it is. This was pretty recent that I found out-3 weeks ago. One thing is, I have felt so alone-it is actually comforting to know I'm not alone in these feelings. I really feel like I'm going crazy right now and sometimes my anger takes over-that-is not a pretty sight. Should I feel better that I do by this time-am icrazy I can't stop obsessing over it. I don’t understand any of this. It makes no logical sense why someone would do this, why not just leave.
  • Melissa  - Trying to move on
    Hi! This is a somewhat long story, so I'll see if I can just include the big parts. I dated this guy for four years. Last July he started talking to his friend's little sister through text messages.. He's 24, I'm 26 and She's 20. They would talk at all hours of the night.. He'd ignore my phone calls and text messages to talk to her.. I booked and paid for a trip to the beach for our four year anniversary and the whole time we argued. He still continued to text her and then a few months later he went to the beach with his parents again and was texting her and ignoring me again in front of his parents. When he got home, I asked him if he wanted to end it over her and he said no that he wanted to work things out with me but that he wouldn't stop talking to her.. Oh, she was engaged to someone else at the time, btw. Anyways, he still wouldn't stop talking to her so I finally ended it and he came and got his stuff. The day he got his things he said to just give him two weeks and we'd see if we could fall in love again. A week later, I drove to his house and told him if after four years he could honestly look me in the face and tell me he didn't love me anymore, that I would get up and walk away. He said I guess not. So I headed for the door.. Then he said don't go. He said I still love you and started crying. He said can you ever forgive me? I said yes, but you have to stop talking to her. He said he would.. And it really looked like he had, until two months later when I went to NY with my friends for a week.. He didn't call me or text me on my birthday.. Oh, and just before I'd left for NY, my mother had asked me to move out, so he and I had found a house to move in together. So we talked a little bit while I was in NY and then when I came home, we talked every day for a week. Then a week later, when I was supposed to go stay in the house with him to see if I liked the ride from there to work everyday, he stopped calling on a Wednesday. He showed up at his parents house Saturday and Sunday and wouldn't call me. He told his mother that things had changed two years ago.. So I drove to his house that day and I said do you want to talk about it or do you want to end it now? He had two friends in the house, so we went outside and I said Ok, what's wrong? He said I think I'm in love with Amanda.. I turned to leave and he said don't go. I said why? There's no reason to stay.. I started crying and then got up to leave and threw my promise ring at him and said a few choice words. And drove away.. A week later she broke up with her fiance.. And two weeks later she moved in with him on the exact same day I was supposed to..Then her ex fiance and I started talking through the internet and I found out that he had been cheating on me with Amanda's sister for months before any of this happened with her. Now, it's almost been three months and I am still struggling with this.. I am so unhappy that I don't know what to do.. I just want to get over it like he has and move on, but it's so hard.. Any advice?
  • Lloyd  - johnny - please help
    Jonney,
    I know you are hurting deep inside a pain like you have never felt before. Nothing you do seems to make it any better and when you think about what happened the pain gets even worse.First, beating on the guy solves nothing and may land you in jail. I know you hurt but getting locked up will only make thing real bad later on. You need to get to a professional psycologist that deals with these issue's, the sooner the better. This issue will eat you alive if you dont, I know my ex did the same thing. I tried to hang on for eleven years, never got any help. I started drinking every night until finally it put me in the hospital with a bleeding ulcer. Dont mess around with this, your health, your very life depends on you getting right with all of this. Get help, get it now! Good luck I wish you the best.
  • johnny  - please help
    My girlfriend cheated on me with the guy next door that I had a feeling she liked when they were hanging out. She told me it was just because our kids play with his kids and that was the only reason why she was over at his house. Things got worse and I left to live with my sister for 4 weeks after that we got back together and worked things out about a week later I asked her if she was with anyone while we were seperated. She told me that she was and it was with the guy next door I went kind of crazy and tried to hurt the guy he got scared and ran away. Now I just feel so much anger and hurt all of the time because I see his house everyday I just don't know what to do please help me to get over it what can I do.
  • jd  - bf slept with older woman
    A few months ago I experienced the worst pain I've ever had to deal with. My boyfriend of three years and I got in an argument about hoe he watched porn. I got really upset and left his parents house. We didn't talk the next day. Two days later I called him. He insisted I said we were done and that I didn't talk to him for 2 days. We decided to work things out. Later that day he told me that within the 2 days he met a 40 ye old lady at the gum and went to her apt and they had sex. Btw I'm 21 he's 22. That to me is a big age difference. This killed me. I was so sad. We went to Counseling but I didn't like the counsler. This really hurt me to because he was watching older women on porn. This makes me felt like he us not physically attracted to me. He has bought a condo for us to move in and I wont move in because I'm scared of getting hurt again. But I'm hurting my self. I bring it up everyday. I can't walk past older women without thinking about it. He's trying to fix things and I'm ruining it. I don't know how to stop feeling like this and trust again. Please help.
  • Anon  - Reply to ROHIT
    ROHIT - Google Codependency/Codependent. It really helped me. A Narcissistic relationship will make your dependency worse, so do get help if you feel you can't control your emotions in relationships. Good luck.
  • rohit  - hw 2 control my emotion..
    my problem is that i easily get emotionaly attached with anyone and whenever they do anything which i don't like i fell sad :angry-red: i wnt be alone and want concentrate on my studies but these emotions don't allow me concentrate what to do????
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