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___________ The goal of this website is to give support to people who are facing problems in their relationship related to cheating, abuse and narcissism. I am living in Europe and English is not my native language, I wish you will excuse me if I make some grammatical errors. I have a background in neuroscience and behavioral sciences and I am currently doing brain research related to these topics in university in my home country. I decided to write in English because I wish to reach as many people as I can around the world. ___________ It is typical for a narcissist to be a mental abuser. Common forms of abuse are insults, mocking, controlling, shouting, judging etc., you name it and if a narcissist believes it can hurt you, he or she is using it against you. Common phrases heard from the mouth of a narcissist are things such as "you deserve it", "you get what you deserve", "I am behaving like this towards you, because you are as you are, it is your own fault" etc. If you do not show with your every action that Narcissist is the most important thing in your world and that the happiness of Narcissist is your absolute priority, a narcissist becomes very nasty and hostile. If you wish to leave your narcissistic partner, I recommend you to read about the methods I used to teach my mind and my brain to get rid of the "addiction" to a narcissist. To read more about this topic, visit the page Recovery After Cheating and Narcissism.
Lack of empathy  One characteristic of a narcissist is that he or she cannot feel empathy towards others. It is impossible for a narcissist to put himself or herself into the shoes of another person. Tragically, narcissists are capable of thinking only of themselves. If narcissists feel someone is mistreating them, narcissists feel they have the "moral right" to treat that person badly. As a consequence, narcissists do not feel bad when they mistreat you, shout at you, insult or mock you.
Bad news for those who are living with a narcissist is that a narcissist can get insulted very easily over things which would not upset a "normal" person. Insignificant little things can make a narcissist surprisingly angry and trigger a so-called narcissistic rage. If "victim" starts to cry as a result of the mental abuse and verbal attacks of a narcissist, that will not calm a narcissist down, on the contrary it often seems to aggravate the rage of a narcissist. This is very alarming sign and should not be overlooked. If you have experienced this kind of behavior in your relationship, please consider long and carefully if it is good for you to continue the relationship. Empathy and support are basic things we all should get in our relationship. We will face all sorts of troubles during the course of our lives. If you cannot trust that your spouse will give you emotional support when you need it, you are not in a healthy relationship. Ask yourself this question: Do you trust your spouse fully? Can you count on it that your spouse will stand by you and support you during difficult times, even if it would require some kind of a personal sacrifice from his or her part? Can you trust that your spouse will not suddenly make you feel bad with some cold and cruel comment or action, when you least expect it? Answer honestly to yourself and then draw the necessary conclusions. A narcissist loves the feeling of being in control  Narcissists get satisfaction when they feel they are in control. The brain of a narcissist differs from the brain of a "normal" person. A narcissist cannot relate to the suffering and pain of other people. Narcissists can appear very emotional in some circumstances, but during most important moments in life, when the happiness and the mental well-being of the partner of a narcissist is at stake, a narcissist can unexpectedly turn surprisingly cold and uncaring.
In a way this kind of behavior is not the "fault" of a narcissist, since he or she is simply lacking the necessary equipment to understand what kind of emotional effect his or her behavior has on other people. But even if a narcissist is not to "blame", it does not mean that you should sacrifice yourself and your life for the sake of your narcissistic partner. You deserve better than to be put down mentally every other day or week or month. You deserve to be happy. If you are interested in learning some tricks and methods I used to teach my brain to get over the addiction to my narcissistic partner, you can visit page Recovery After Cheating and Narcissism. There are ways to teach the mind and the brain to get over negative events in life such as betrayal and cheating. These same methods can be used to get over the destructive relationship with a narcissist. If you can control your emotions, it is much easier for you to decide what you wish to do with your relationship with a narcissistic partner. To read more about narcissism and how the mind of a narcissist works, go to section Narcissism. To read personal stories of life with a narcissistic spouse, go to section Personal Stories: Narcissistic Spouse. To read about cheating and how the mind of a cheater works, go to section Cheating and Infidelity. To read personal stories of life with a cheating spouse, go to section Personal Stories: Cheating and Infidelity. If you wish, you can read more about the content of this website and about my background from page Site Overview or go to other sections by clicking Main Menu links (left bar). - Maria You can contact me by clicking
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Narcissism 
I am happy you did that" BG-SO TRUE",turning it around on him . That's what I have done to overcome the pain , I use humor against him and it is so funny at times , he gives it right back to me ( talk about mirroring my personality)one of the most effective ways besides humor is APATHY .
0am. But reading all about it, finding out how he was deliberately setting me up, manipulating me and then blaming me, was like a light coming on in a dark room. Then when I read this is something that usually can't be cured ) it set me free...I just felt really light, even relieved. It wasn't me, after all.
My husband is not very tech savvy, and doesn't comprehend how tech gadgets work. He cheated on me with another woman, whom he claimed he had cut ties with long ago, and insisted that I was just "crazy".
I changed the ringtone on his cellphone so that it rang like an old fashioned telephone every time she called him. That alerted me to the fact that she was still calling him, and the two of them were indeed still communicating. I alerted my sons NOT to help him change the ringtone, and just let him think that it was ringing like that, because of a function of HER cellphone, and he bought their explanation.
His expensive high tech status symbol phone is just technical enough that very few people could help him change the ringtone, plus, it is beneath him to ask for help, because, as we all know, Narcissists are experts at everything and don't need anyone's help. LOL
The look on his face was absolutely priceless when it rang like that the first time, and he realized that it was her. I didn't even blink, I just laughed inside myself. I think he had to change his underwear when we got home. Everytime it rings like that, BRINGGGG, BRINGGGG, BRINGGGGG, very loudly. I almost burst out laughing... but I exit the room and go about my business as though I don't have a clue.
It has led him to grouch her out as though it's HER fault, and he has argued with her and tried to tell her to change HER ringtone. ROFL. He has even chewed her out now about calling him so much. HAHA!
Meanwhile, my heart is lightened and I carry out my plan to leave him in a lurch and go forward in freedom.