Life with a Narcissist

Short "honeymoon"

First 1-2 years with a narcissist can be like a dream, even though the signs of the future turmoil are already in the air. After the "honeymoon" is over, a narcissist changes. He or she becomes gradually colder, more emotionless and uncaring. You may wonder about the reactions of a narcissist in different situations. Your instinct is serving you well: The reactions of a narcissist in certain situations are clearly abnormal. You can read more about this topic elsewhere in this website. But the main thing is that you slowly start to realize that everything is not as it should be in your relationship. You may think at first that the fault is in you, but deep inside you know that is not the case. You have navigated to this website, because you know that things are not well in your relationship and you know it is not about you and it is not all in your head, but that there is something wrong with your spouse.

I used some very basic tricks and methods to teach my brain to let go of my "addiction" to my narcissistic spouse. If you wish to read more about this topic, go to page Recovery After Cheating to learn more about ways to teach the mind and the brain to get over negative events such as betrayal and cheating. These methods can also be used to break free and recover after destructive and abusive relationship with a narcissistic partner. If you can control your emotions instead of letting them control you, it will be so much easier to decide what to do with your narcissistic spouse.

You can read more about the warning signs and experiences of life with a narcissistic spouse from section Narcissism. To read personal stories of life with a narcissistic spouse, go to section Personal Stories: Narcissistic Spouse. To read about cheating and how the mind of a cheater works, go to section Cheating and Infidelity. To read personal stories of life with cheating spouse, go to section Personal Stories: Cheating and Infidelity. If you wish, you can read more about the content of this website and about my background from page Site Overview or go to other sections by clicking Main Menu links (left bar).

- Maria

Comments (3)

|2011-09-28 06:54:02 oceanglory - I thought he loved me, I now know better...19 year

Stranger Danger

I've known you so long, yet I don't know you
I see a stranger
I feel the stranger
I've been held hostage by the stranger
The stranger is evil
The stranger is cruel
The stranger is heartless
The stranger is empty
By some miracle, the stranger set me free
Could it be the stranger found within his vacant shell an ounce of humanity?
I wish I could believe, but I now know too much about this stranger
There is no heart
There is no love
There is no compassion
There is nothing
This empty vessel of a human that I called my husband, that I loved, that I sacrificed for, that fathered my children, that I forgave, that I gave years of my life to
Is a stranger...to me.
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|2011-05-29 16:19:43 TennisGirl - omg

Please run away, but make sure you have a restraining order when he returns , he sounds like he could be dangerous.
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|2011-01-05 18:18:32 Tammy - This is an eye opener

When I started reading about a Narcissist I was just looking up the word because I heard Dr. Phil use it. Wow! Did it bring me to a great eye opener that this is who my husband is. He started out so loving and such a great provider. As time went on he became someone who thought was controlling and needy. Nothing that I was doing was enough for him. He wanted to always be number one. As long as I was home he was ok. The minute that I went to visit a friend or family he would get upset. If we went we somewhere together he always wanted me to sit and talk to him and not talk to anyone else. He would check my phone to see whose texting me. He would get upset if a male friend sent me a simple text saying good morning. If I get on the computer he would think of a reason to come over and see what I am typing. If I go next door he would constantly call or text me until I come home. Now that he is in Afghanistan he goes online and checks my cell phone bill everyday to see who is calling and texting and how often I am on the phone. He gets made because I am texting other people and not him. We got a Skype account to keep in touch. He does not have a set time to call me. He will call whenever and I am suppose to stop what I am doing to talk to him. If he text me I am suppose to stop cooking or whatever to text him. He judges people for whatever mistakes they have made in their lives and says I should not hang around them. He has done some of the same things. When I bring up his past in comparison he always says that I insulting and baggering him. He says that he is suppose to be number one in my life. My family or friends don't matter. He will not send me money unless he wants to. He tells me that I should manage my money better nevermind that I pay all the utility bills. When we make groceries I am expectedto pay half. I ask him to open my car door for me. He says why should he open my door when I am quite capable of opening my own door. No matter how many packages I send to him if I ask someone to come get them and drop them off for me, I am being lazy and I don't care about him. All these things are driving me crazy. Now he has been talking about divorce. I ask him at what point did he stop loving me. He told me when I started texting and calling everyone before I texted or called him. We are 9 hours difference. He says I am not putting him as number one priority. Since he has been gone every time that I plan to go somewhere he calls and argues with me so that I won't go. It was working for awhile but I started going anyway. He would constantly call to see what we are doing. Knowing that I sould be spending time with my friends he keeps calling back every 30 minutes. At one point everywhere I went he wanted me to take laptop so we could Skype and he would want to see everyone and where I was. He would be looking at the background asking what is that or who is talking. I am so annoyed now I am ready to go. The bottom line is I do not want to spend the rest of my life like this.
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