The goal of this website is to give support to people who are facing problems in their relationship related to cheating, abuse and narcissism. I am living in Europe and English is not my native language, I wish you will excuse me if I make some grammatical errors. I decided to write in English because I wish to reach as many people as I can around the world.
It is typical for a narcissistic person to be a mental abuser. Common forms of abuse are insults, mocking, controlling, shouting, judging etc., you name it and if a narcissist believes it can hurt you, he or she is using it against you. Common phrases heard from the mouth of these people are things such as "you deserve it", "you get what you deserve", "I am behaving like this towards you, because you are as you are, it is your own fault" etc. If you do not show with your every action that a narcissist is the most important thing in your world and that their happiness is your absolute priority, they often become very nasty and hostile.
Lack of empathy
One characteristic of a narcissist is that he or she cannot feel empathy towards others. It is often impossible for a narcissistic individual to put themselves into the shoes of another person. Tragically, they are capable of thinking only of themselves. If they feel someone is mistreating them, these people feel they have the "moral right" to treat that person badly. As a consequence, narcissists do not feel bad when they mistreat you, shout at you, insult or mock you.
Bad news for those who are living with a narcissistic person is that a they can get insulted very easily over minor things which would not upset a "normal" person. Insignificant little things can make a narcissist surprisingly angry and trigger a so-called narcissistic rage. If "victim" starts to cry as a result of the mental abuse and verbal attacks, that will not calm a narcissist down, on the contrary it often seems to aggravate their rage.
This is very alarming sign and should not be overlooked. If you have experienced this kind of behavior in your relationship, please consider long and carefully if it is good for you to continue the relationship. Empathy and support are basic things we all should receive in our relationship. We will face all sorts of troubles during the course of our lives. If you cannot trust that your spouse will give you emotional support when you need it, you are not in a healthy relationship. Ask yourself this question: Do you trust your spouse fully? Can you count on it that your spouse will stand by you and support you during difficult times, even if it would require some kind of a personal sacrifice from his or her part? Can you trust that your spouse will not suddenly make you feel bad with some cold and cruel comment or action, when you least expect it? Answer honestly to yourself and then draw the necessary conclusions.
A narcissist loves the feeling of being in control
Narcissists feel satisfaction when they feel they are in control and they often cannot relate to the suffering and pain of other people. They can appear very emotional in some circumstances, but during most important moments in life, when the happiness and the mental well-being of their partner is at stake, they can unexpectedly turn surprisingly cold and uncaring.
In a way this kind of behavior is not their "fault", since they are simply lacking the necessary equipment to understand what kind of emotional effect their behavior has on other people. But even if they are in a way not to "blame", it does not mean that you should sacrifice yourself and your life for the sake of your narcissistic partner. You deserve better than to be put down mentally every other day or week or month. You deserve to be happy.
If you are interested in learning some tricks and methods I used to break free and leave my narcissistic partner, visit page Recovery after Narcissism. There are ways to teach the mind and the brain to get over negative events in life such as betrayal and cheating. These same methods can be used to get over the destructive relationship with a narcissist. If you can control your emotions, it is much easier for you to decide what you wish to do with your relationship.
To read more about narcissism and how the mind of a narcissist works, go to section Narcissism. To read personal stories of life with a narcissistic spouse, go to section Personal Stories: Narcissistic Spouse. To read about cheating and how the mind of a cheater works, go to section Cheating and Infidelity. To read personal stories of life with a cheating spouse, go to section Personal Stories: Cheating and Infidelity. Go to other sections by clicking Main Menu links (left bar).
If you wish to submit your own story and get feedback and support for your situation or if you wish to contact me for any other reason, send me email to