Dear, dear Maria,
You don't know how much you alleviated my pain! You gave me tools to better understand the situation - MY situation. Every word that you wrote to me rang so true in my ears, that I feel so embarrassed not to see the reality that lies in front of me.
Thank you from the bottom of my heart for your support! You honor us, the women. :love:
After I wrote to you, I couldn't sit around and wait; not with that mix of anger and pain in my heart. So, I took some desperate action:
I called the 22 year old woman and asked her to meet with me for a coffee. We did. We spent about 2 hours talking. Two things lined out for me: She said she "will not cut this connection with him UNLESS if he asks her to do so" (pigs aren't flying yet) and She doesn't find mandatory that he should've told me about "them".
Clearly, this lady is young and she cannot understand the implications of her relationship with my boyfriend.
Also, clearly she knows that my boyfriend treats me with disrespect (by hiding this from me, by not wanting to cut the relationship with her). You were right about both.
And the piece of resistance: (she told me that) they met 1-2 days ago and he asked her to hide her number when she calls him; he said "make it private, so she won’t know you called me." Her response? "I will not entangle myself in these kind of complications, so I will just continue to call him as usual."
Betrayed again. Now you see how foolish I am ???!
I broke his little safe secret box; she admitted to everything I asked her except the physical part: she claimed not once to have had physical touching with him.
She also was told by him that he does not want to marry anyone, nor to have kids, but, Maria, I bet my one month salary that if she would ask him to, he would marry her in a minute.
He is smitten; I see the signs with more clarity. Oblivious to my needs, disrespectful, impatient with me.
He spent the whole weekend with me. Being nice and taking care of my daughter while I was meeting with his fling.
Ironically, when she was leaving (her apartment located under his) to meet with me, they met and exchanged a few words, she told me. Ironically, when I was leaving to meet her, he just arrived at my house and we exchanged a few words (he did not ask me where I go). She said that she did not disclose the meeting with me.
Painfully, later that night when I innocently asked him if he came directly from his house to mine, he said NO. He lied again. He could've just said "I stopped by"; that would've not meant anything to me (had I not known that he met with her), but WHY LIE?
I told her that I shall tell him about our meeting and she should do the same. Now I am thinking if I should be the first one to tell him, so he won't think that she is feeding him info - oh, so close friends.
Somehow, I managed to put the foundation of a “friendship” with her, meaning that we hugged when we left and promised to meet again. Clowny, huh!
Dear Maria, I seriously plan to initiate the painful break up. I am 40, but I look good at my age, I am smart, loving, a wonderful mother, a good cook, a great lover...I deserve more from this short life. So, like you said, it will be better for me to exit this lane before I lose more self-respect (if that's possible!!)
I read the article that you told me about and I am (theoretically) ready to put on the break up coat. Trust is only a dream now.
May God bless you and give you happiness and love, Friend.
I believe that Men who want young women are very immature and insecure. What mature woman would want to have that kind of man?? Theory - works.