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The goal of this website is to give support to people who are facing problems in their relationship related to cheating, abuse and narcissism. I am living in Europe and English is not my native language, I wish you will excuse me if I make some grammatical errors. I have a background in neuroscience and behavioral sciences and I am currently doing brain research related to these topics in university in my home country. I decided to write in English because I wish to reach as many people as I can around the world. 

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Dear Visitor,

I created this website to ease my pain due to very bad relationship to a narcissistic man, who was also a mental abuser. I went through hell during my relationship with this man. I became seriously depressed due to a constant, long-term mental abuse. I was so deep in it that I did not realize the seriousness of my condition. In the end it was the people around me who made me see that the person I was living with was mentally sick. I was so blinded by my "love" towards him, that I accepted everything he did to me, thinking there was something wrong with me because he was behaving that way towards me. He made me believe that I was to blame, that it was me who made him behave the way he did.

Writing about my experiences eases my pain. I am adding new articles to this website on daily basis, please feel free to check for updates. I have also written down the results of my literature search and some of my personal experiences of how to recover and heal after cheating. Human brain is an amazing device. It is possible to teach the brain to work in new ways, in same fashion as it is possible to train the body to move in a new way while learning to ride a bicycle, to dance etc. Proper training can help you to control your negative emotions related to cheating instead of letting your emotions control you. You can read more about this topic from page Healing after Cheating.

Section Personal Stories: Narcissistic Spouse is meant for the stories of the relationship with a narcissist. I will add to this section stories including examples of the behavior of my narcissistic spouse during our relationship. I am adding new stories (my own stories and stories I receive from the readers of this website) to this section quite often, so feel free to check for updates. Writing these things down helps me to process the negative emotions I still have towards my former narcissistic partner. By reading these stories and by comparing my experiences to those of your own, you can figure out whether your husband or wife is also narcissistic. It helps when you know what is causing the problems in your relationship. If your husband or wife turns out to be a narcissist, you know that there was never anything you could have done to improve the situation. It was not your fault that things did not work out in your relationship.

I have created a discussion forum for those who are in similar situation and who want to join this small community of people who are struggling in a negative relationship. It helps to know you are not alone. We may come from different backgrounds and countries, but there is something that unites us: We are all victims, we are all going through something very bad in our lives and we are looking for help and advice to find out what to do and how to recover faster.

Please join this small community to build better life for all of us. Alone we are weak, but together we can be strong. By joining this community you are not only helping yourself, but you are helping others who are going through exactly what you are going through right now. By helping others you can help yourself. It will improve your feeling when you know that your comforting words are helping anonymous friends who can be located right next door or to the other side of the planet. Internet has created us a unique opportunity to reach out and get in touch with people all around the world. Let us use that opportunity, instead of suffering alone and isolated in our homes.

It helped me when I was able to write down my thoughts and do some self-analyzing. I believe it will help you too. What you can do is to write down your thoughts and send your story to section Personal Stories: Narcissistic Spouse or to section Personal Stories: Cheating and Infidelity. You may ask for some feedback for your situation or you can simply send your thoughts to the world. You can write to me completely anonymously. I will personally respond to every email I get. I believe writing down your thoughts will help you. If you like, you can also post your story to discussion forum.

It helps when you know you are not alone. I am here for you. I went through what you are now going through and I want to help you. Send your story here and take the first step towards healing. You can read more about the content of this website and about my background from page Site Overview or go to other sections by clicking Main Menu links.

 - Maria

You can send your story or contact me by clicking This e-mail address is being protected from spambots. You need JavaScript enabled to view it . Click this link to continue to section Personal Stories: Narcissistic Spouse

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Comments (3)

• |2010-01-31 16:30:38 Sandra
  Hi. am legally seperated from my husband of 35 yrs. for 3 yrs. now. I had to get out of a sick relationship. After reading information on the narcissist I believe that is probably why I could never get along with him. I was shocked to hear that there is no cure and that it is a personality disorder. The first year of our seperaton I was going on false hope that maybe he would change. He does not call me to see how I am doing. I see him on occasion because of adult kids and two grand-children. He wanted out of the relationship but could not do it. He always made me move for him but did not see it before. I feel I did him a favor by getting out of the relationship and now he has a chance to be happy. I feel that I am still hanging on to the times he was very nice to me, and only when he felt like it. He is also an alcoholic. I would like to know is there any hope, and if not how do I let go of this illusion. Thank you.
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• |2010-02-03 22:45:42 Maria
  Dear Sandra,
  
  I am sorry to hear you are hurting. It is very difficult to break free from a narcissist. It was a brave thing to do to end the relationship. After 35 years it is clear that you feel strong attachment towards your ex husband. However, you have an extensive proof (all those years) that your husband is not capable of changing, at list not easily. The older we get, the harder it is to let go of old habits. In your husband's case "old habits" are alcohol and (based on your message) generally unpleasant behavior. In your case "old habits" include your feelings of love and attachment towards your husband. You have spend a huge portion of your life with your husband. If you could get over the break up in just couple months there would be something wrong with you. You are a normal human being with normal emotions, unlike a narcissistic person who's emotional world is distorted.
  
  In my opinion you should not keep alive the hopes of future together with your narcissistic husband. You have been separated for 3 years. During that time your husband has not (based on your message) made a significant effort to change his behavior and to get back together with you. Dear Friend, please do not waste your life waiting for something that is not real.
  
  Look inside your mind: I believe your feelings towards your ex husband consist mostly of pity due to his alcoholism and his other problems (for example his narcissism). It is easy to mistake pity for love. Dear Friend, search your feelings and if you do find out that your feelings towards your ex husband are indeed mostly pity, then you know it is time to let go. You have tried all you can to "save" your ex husband and to take care of him. Now it is time for you to live your own life and enjoy it! Dear Friend, you have done enough. I know it is hard to let go. Please read the stories on this page, they will help you in your process of letting go: http://www.cheating-infidelity.com/Home/personal-stories-narcissistic-spouse.html
  
  Warm hug,
  Maria
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• |2010-02-23 20:21:36 jessica
  Dear Maria,
  
  I have been in a relationship with a narcissist for 3 years now. I am now learning more about this disorder and it explains my boyfriend to a T.
  
  First, he thinks everyone is jealous of him. Nothing is his fault. For instance the other day we were driving and he hit a pothole and it was my fault. I have found emails of him cheating but still denies it to this day. I think he needs an "ego" talk from these women because he deep down has security issues.
  
  It's hard to trust him and he can manipulate me so well its sick. I have seen the fake tears when I say I'm leaving. But that night he's out with another woman.
  
  I want to make him a better man, but he has to do it himself. I am financially dependent on him so its hard to leave.
  
  By the way I love your website.
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