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Hello Maria, I have to thank you for a great website full of information! I have been separated from my narcissistic ex husband for two years and despite hours and hours and hours of research, soul searching and therapy, I did not fully grasp that, in fact, my ex was and is a certifiable narcissist! Of course I had heard the term applied to him from friends, family and my therapist (four, actually!) following our ugly separation, but the reality of how his narcissistic tendencies were used to manipulate me over the twelve year relationship was completely lost on me, until recently. Finally I am able to truly understand those little nuances, those things that I thought were just his unique personality tics, were actually glaring warning signs of his personality disorder (dysfunction) that I completely overlooked. And which very nearly destroyed me. I can finally say to myself with complete honesty and sincerity, IT WASN’T ME.
The best thing in the world is to know that my ex has watched me over the past two years recover into a better, stronger, happier, healthier, thinner and more financially stable woman than I ever was when he was at my side. And during the same time, I watched him quickly and effortlessly move on (and move in, then marry) a naive girl 13 years his junior with whom he had his fifth affair (I should qualify this by saying his fifth “admitted” affair; he did acknowledge at the end of our marriage he had never been faithful to any woman, ever in his life). The foolish girl is still in the “batting-her-eyes-as-she-looks-up-at-him-adoringly” stage. The disgrace to me in watching him move in with this girl before our divorce and proposing marriage 3 months later was facing the reality that his concept of marriage, including our marriage, meant nothing to him. That our life together and the family we built was inconsequential. And it repulsed me that after bearing his children and standing by his side for so long that he could move on so quickly, never looking back, with virtually no emotion whatsoever. And the repulsion turns to repugnance knowing that he actually took some sick satisfaction in my agony during that time. After the divorce and as I began to slowly heal, I noticed that my ex’s behavior turned from ambivalent and uncaring to downright hostile. There was no warning and nothing done to provoke him, but it just happened. I can only surmise that he became angry with me because he saw me happily moving away from him rather than begging for his love and devotion as he had hoped I would do. I’ve noticed that the happier and healthier (and thinner) I’ve become, his anger and hostility toward me increases proportionally. I have so many individual stories I could tell on this subject; the warning signs I saw but made excuses for; the glaring signs during the marriage that told me this was a troubled guy, which I overlooked, his ramblings, get rich quick schemes, lack of empathy for others, actual enjoyment about other peoples misfortunes, his financial manipulations and total control, his unreasonable jealousy when I was nothing but faithful, his overly public verbal castration of “other” men who cheat on their wives (because of course HE would never do that)…….ah, I could write my own book, but I won't. I'll just vent here! Thanks again, Maria. I plan on visiting this site often. Best of luck to you! Never look back. __________ The goal of this website is to give support to people who are facing problems in their relationship related to cheating, abuse and narcissism. I am living in Europe and English is not my native language, I wish you will excuse me if I make some grammatical errors. I have a background in neuroscience and behavioral sciences and I am currently doing brain research related to these topics in university in my home country. I decided to write in English because I wish to reach as many people as I can around the world. If you wish to read more about me, please visit page Site Overview.
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Dear Friend, Thank you for your email. I was glad to read your positive feedback regarding my site! The knowledge that I am able to help others is the best reward I can get from doing this work. I started my site to ease my own pain due to a difficult relationship with a narcissistic man. I started to write down my thoughts and looked for information regarding the mental pain caused by cheating or narcissism in a relationship. in a way it was like going to a therapy, it helped me to process all the painful memories which were spinning around in my head.  After a long and hard struggle I was finally able to end the relationship with my narcissistic partner. It helped me to heal faster when I was able to direct my energy into helping others who were still struggling to get out of the toxic relationship. Ironically, it is thanks to my narcissistic spouse that my website exists today and that via it I am able to help people who are in similar difficult situation. It feels good to see that something so good can come out of something so bad :)
Writing about my experiences during the recovery process helped me to heal. You can read more about the ways to help yourself to heal faster after experiencing cheating or narcissism in a relationship from the page Recovery After Cheating and Narcissism. Dear Friend, I am sorry you had to go through such a horrible emotional turmoil with your narcissistic partner. I am so glad to hear you are already doing better (this is the feeling I got when I read your email). You still have so much GOOD life ahead of you which you can now spend in a happy, mentally balanced manner, without the negative influence of someone who you could never fully trust and who would only bring you misery and pull you down to the dark caves of depression... I am so happy for you that you have gotten out! I feel sorry for all the future partners of your narcissistic ex husband. They are going to face the misery and pain with him they do not yet have any idea of. Poor women. I am talking about this girl who is with him now, and all those women who will follow her.  You described how your ex husband turned unpleasant towards you after seeing how well you were doing without him. That is very typical behavior for a narcissist. Seeing how well you were doing without him made him feel he is "expendable", instead of being forever the center piece of your life and a target of your "desperate love". As a narcissist your ex husband is like an empty shell, who needs to be fulfilled by the admiration and praise of people around him. You have now shown him that you do not need him and actually you are doing much better without him. That is eating him inside more than any insults, raging or revenge you could think of.
Yes, we will never look back! Thank you again for your email, Dear Friend. I wish you the best. I am sure your life will be so much happier without your former narcissistic husband. Always remember that you made the right choice. Your future with him would have been sad, dark and depressing. You are so much better off on your own! Dear Reader, if you would like to contribute to this website by for example by writing some articles of your own, for example about the "red flags" or warning signs one should not ignore in the beginning of the relationship with a narcissist, you are welcome to do so! Your experiences can help those who have just started a relationship with a narcissist and spare them for the years of suffering. Warm thoughts and a big hug, -Maria If you wish to submit your own story and get feedback and support for your situation or if you wish to contact me for any other reason, click
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Stories - Narcissism 
Thank you,
Trying not to look back with a big smile
GOD BLESS