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Hello again Maria!
Sometimes the world of karma is a funny thing! I wrote to you on a Wednesday, you responded the following Friday, and in the interim, I learned that my narcissistic ex was in fact cheating on his fiancee (who is the same girl he had his 5th admitted affair and moved in with after he walked out on me!). Ah, yes, karma...... And sad for her she learned this information just a week from their anticipated nuptials, which foolishly went on regardless!. I feel very little sympathy for her since she was fully informed of my ex's cheating history, a luxury I did not have prior to my involvement with him. I personally told her his history to prevent her the same fate, but foolishly she thought she could change him and apparently, by marrying him, she still does....... Now he's making a very public fool out of her.
Although I hate to admit it, when the news broke of his hand literally being "caught in the cookie jar" I had mixed feelings. On one hand I felt complete vindication and wanted to celebrate. I was proud that I had predicted his actions correctly. I felt happy that this girl, with whom he had an affair on me, was getting what was due to her (even though I mostly see her as his current victim I still despise the pain she contributed to me and my children). But if I'm honest, I MOSTLY felt sick to my stomach.
I felt sick for my children, who share my narcissistic ex's DNA. I felt sick that a human being-and I'm using that term loosely-could continue to betray woman after woman, family after family, and walk around giving people the "I didn't do anything wrong" story unwaveringly. I felt sick that I had ever let this man (loose description) TOUCH me! The thought of that now causes my skin to crawl. I felt sick knowing that he actually believes he's somehow entitled to do what he does.
But I do see this as the final chapter, full acceptance that he is a narcissist by which other narcissists could be compared. In my particular case, karma equals justice and justice equals acceptance. Acceptance means a promising future......... For ME.
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The goal of this website is to give support to people who are facing problems in their relationship related to cheating, abuse and narcissism. I am living in Europe and English is not my native language, I wish you will excuse me if I make some grammatical errors. I have a background in neuroscience and behavioral sciences and I am currently doing brain research related to these topics in university in my home country. I decided to write in English because I wish to reach as many people as I can around the world. If you wish to read more about me, please visit page Site Overview.
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(To read the previous letter of this writer, visit page Divorcing a Cheating Narcissistic Husband)
Dear Friend,
Thank you for your email. I am glad to hear from you. I can fully understand how you feel about this news (infidelity of your ex husband). You are having mixed feelings regarding the matter. On the other hand you are feeling vindication, but on the other hand this yet another proof of your ex husband's deceptive nature is making you feel sick in your stomach. Your feelings are very natural.
 You said you do not feel "pity" toward your ex husband's present partner. I can FULLY understand you. You still have all the feelings of anger in you regarding the matter (this new woman being involved with your ex spouse). Those feelings are also very natural. Even tho you are not wishing to get back with your ex, it is natural to feel negative towards the present spouse. I know exactly how you feel inside. It takes time to get over cheating and betrayal. To read more about how to recover after cheating and a relationship with a narcissist, visit page Learn to Control Your Emotions.
I can give you another kind of view of this situation, a view of a person who is looking at things (related to my former spouse) from greater distance. I know how you are feeling, but I can also imagine how the present spouse of your ex is feeling after she found out about cheating. Remember how you felt when you found out your husband is a cheater. I honestly believe that is the worst thing that can happen to a person.... Cheating is leaving deep scars to the heart of a person, scars that will never heal completely. Do you remember the pain you felt when you learned your husband has been cheating on you? The new woman is feeling the very same pain right now, and that is a horrible place to be, as you know.
You told me the new woman is younger than you. She is still a bit naive about life. The new woman may not have enough experience in life to deal with this sort of things (cheating and betrayal). Yes, she knew about the past of your ex husband (he is a cheater) and she knew he was a married man at the time he was making his moves on her, but she still fell in love with him. Perhaps she could not resist her feelings even tho she knew it was wrong. Also, you cannot know what your ex husband told her about you and his relationship with you. Most likely your ex husband painted the situation to be such that he was unhappy with you, and that he met "the love of his life" (this girl) and he simply had to follow his heart etc. Cheaters can say these things very convincingly go justify what they are doing.
The way I see the situation is that your ex husband is more to blame of what happened than his new woman. This is all his doing. Your ex had the power to make all the choices (even if she fell in love with your husband, he did not have to act on it, had his personality been different). Your ex husband made her to fall in love with him, and then he kept on doing what he always seems to do (cheats). (Click the link below to read the rest of this reply).
>> CLICK HERE TO READ THE REST OF THIS REPLY <<
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Dear Friend, let the memory of your ex husband disappear into the past, cut him loose, to float or sink on his own (if your ex husband keeps on doing what he is now doing, he will most certainly sink). You have nothing to do with that man now (luckily), you are free. You are not responsible of your ex husband or what will happen to him. You can now concentrate on your own life and you own happiness! If you wish to read about the ways to teach your mind to let go of the negative memories, visit page Learn to Control Your Emotions.
My warmest thoughts,
- Maria
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Stories - Narcissism 
