Dear Friend,
Thank you for your email. I was touched to read it. You have been through so much in your life. I feel sorry for the pain this man has caused you. I am so glad to hear you are finally out! As I was reading your email and the big picture of your situation started to emerge, I was afraid that by the time I reach the end of your letter I find out you are still together with him. I was so happy to read that you had filed for the divorce and are finally on the road towards a happier life! Thank you for sending your story. Reading it will help others to see their situation more clearly and hopefully to break free before things become worse.
Many times people are hoping that the situation will improve, if they stay and somehow change their own behavior. But sadly that is not the case. A narcissist can rarely change and those who stay in a relationship with one often end up leaving sooner or later (unfortunately sometimes people cannot break free and end up spending their life in an unhappy relationship, becoming slowly more and more depressed). If one knows that sooner of later one has to leave anyhow in order to maintain the mental health, then why not to make that decision sooner when there is still lot's of life ahead.
Dear Reader, if You are in a relationship with a narcissistic person and are feeling sad and depressed, please do not wait too long. The aim of this website is to give you the strength to break free and to regain your happiness!
Dear Friend, you wrote you have been feeling suicidal. That is no wonder considering what you have been going through. You described so beautifully how you fell in love with this man in the beginning of your relationship... We have all experienced that same "fairytale" period with our narcissistic partners. Every man and woman who is reading your story has been through the same. We all know how fantastic the beginning of the relationship feels like, how head over heels we are in love with our narcissistic partners.... And we all know how our love is making us vulnerable to all the blows the future has in store for us.
If we love someone very strongly and that person then turns against us, that is one of the worst things that can happen in life. Think about a child who grows up in a home where he or she does not feel loved and cannot rely on the parents. When a child is born, parents are the center piece of the child's world. Child is relying on the parents and trusting them in everything. If parents withdraw their affection and reject the child, the damage to the integrity of the mind of a child cannot be avoided. There are countless of studies and rock-solid scientific evidence of what that does to the psyche of a child. A child grows up to be an adult who has a low self-esteem, who feels very insecure, has greater tendency to get depressed and who cannot easily trust people around him or her. These are the facts.
Now think for a moment what happens to a grown-up person who has to experience the same tragedy (the neglect and betrayal performed by someone who one has loved and relied on). Unfortunately growing up and becoming an adult does not provide one with an armor against the mental blows in form of neglect, betrayal, cheating and abuse etc. Our mind is just as vulnerable as the mind of a child. If abuse and mental violence goes on for years, we will slowly become depressed, often without even noticing what is happening to us.
A person can be depressed without knowing it. This may sound strange at first. Dear Reader, you may now think "what, of course I would know if I am depressed". But people often have a wrong idea of what the manifestations of depression are. People tend to think a depressed person is somehow fundamentally different from someone who is not depressed. Many tend to think a depressed person cannot accomplish even the simplest every-day chores and is simply sitting home, incapacitated and passive. That is true in case of a severe clinical depression. That is the point when things have gotten really, really bad.
But before those people who are severely depressed have reached that point, they have gone through years of depression that does not show out so strongly. They have been feeling down, feeling there is no joy in their lives, no excitement, no thrill, no nothing. They have slowly started to lose the will to live. People who are living in a relationship with a narcissist are often depressed. The longer the relationship goes on, the more depressed the "victim" becomes, until one day the victim may reach the state of a severe clinical depression.
The only way to reverse this negative cycle is to get away from the negative environment. Only then the mind can start to heal itself. The brain has an incredible ability to adjust, reshape the neuronal networks and to heal. To learn more about the way the brain is behaving in different circumstances, visit page Controlling Emotions.
Dear Friend, I am so glad that you have now gotten away from your narcissistic husband. Now your brain and your mind will start to heal. In the beginning of the healing process you need to be patient. You need to trust that your brain is capable of healing itself. I am involved in brain research so I know what I am talking about. Dear Friend, I know you feel so empty and painful right now. But trust me: Your brain WILL heal itself. Just give it time. The most important thing for you to do to make sure the healing process is not interrupted is to stay away from your narcissistic husband. Please read this article of Controlling Emotions to understand what I mean when I say your brain is going to heal itself "automatically" if you only give it some time. In order to help yourself to recover, you can also visit page Recovery after Cheating.
I am so glad you found my website and wrote to me. My thoughts are with you. I know the pain you have felt and are still feeling. But believe me, after some time has passed, you start to feel a bit better every day. The improvement can be slow at first, but it will accelerate as the time goes by. While you are waiting for the recovery process to pick speed, please feel free to write back to me anytime you want. I wish to help you to get through this difficult phase in your life. You are not alone. All the readers of my website know exactly how you are feeling. We are all here for you.
Dear Reader, please leave your comment regarding this story to comment section at the end of this page. You do not need to log in to leave your comment, just write down your thoughts and type in the security catchpa. If you feel this story has touched you and you wish to say something regarding it, please do not hesitate to send a comment. Let's help and support each other. We are all in a similar situation.
Warm hug,
- Maria
If you wish to submit your own story and get feedback and support for your situation or if you wish to contact me for any other reason, send me email to
This e-mail address is being protected from spambots. You need JavaScript enabled to view it
Stories - Narcissism 
I signed the final judgment today and the Judge will sign it tomorrow. What does a person do the mark the end of a 23 year marriage? I am relieved and grief stricken in the same breath. 
I am truly sorry that what I said made your pain revive; however, if it called you back into God's loving arms it was exactly what I was meant to share. Take Heart Lisa Be Strong Lisa Wait on the Lord Lisa for He loves you like no other. 
and this post you typed hit home mega on me today. It's amazing what can bring us into tears just like that.
Lisa
I want to update because this is a process, you don't just get divorced and life is normal. I posted the original story here.
It has now been a year and 3 months post divorce. I have a nice new house and have furnished and decorated it nicely.
I thought I'd hate working and I really like my job. Strange, everybody is nice to me. Self-esteem is much better.
I am still depressed, and really miss the regular way of life, with a family. I am a little scared of men and have not really dated much. I am terrified of being alone the rest of my life, but I also avoid men because I am scared they might be narcissists and hide it well.
My ex treats me really great now! Funny, as long as you're not his wife, he is nice to you.
Bottom line is that I have done way better than I thought. The thing is, when you're in the middle of it, as Lisa, you don't have enough self-esteem to think you can survive without him but once he is gone, you get very strong and independent and find out you are very capable. To get out, you just have to believe that you are not fully aware of your abilities because of what he is telling you and because he is treating you like a child. You are so fatigued and stressed that you cannot imagine that you could get up and go to work every day. I have to say, life is strange without an abuser. It's like your teddy bear that is a part of you. Lopping it off is like losing a part of yourself and you have to learn to live without abuse, strange, huh?