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Dear Maria, I would like to post the following for fellow members to read and comment about. I'd like to first see how they feel about what I think, before I go into greater and more elaborate and more time consuming vehicles to perhaps travel smoothly on the roads of being abused and used by narcissist bullies. BULLIES is the correct word, I feel. Anyway, below, is what I feel. Please post it, or even all of this email, because I am curious about how others feel before I communicate more. Thank you.
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I believe that there is a set of behaviors that go together. In other words, I think that every narcissist is a liar, a manipulator, a cheater, an actor, tense, angry, always in need of support, pessimistic, inappropriately seductive, sexually displaying, a stealer, and is a totally insecure person who often acts as the opposite of all the above. So, they act trustworthy, honest, truthful and loyal and secure, but they will abuse you emotionally, mentally and if you let them, physically too. Additionally, I have found that they never have only that one affair you caught them at. They have multiple affairs often, and when they are caught, they will never suddenly drop to their knees and say, "I have been unfaithful to you many times with many people." No. Instead, they will make a grand production out of the one time you know about. This will give them the satisfaction of knowing that there are many things you did not find out about. That helps them return to those other relationships more confident than before. They use psychological excuses such as, "I can't help it, I have a multiple personality problem, so sometimes I don't even know what the other "me" is doing." BS! Do you hear that? BS! They are so deeply involved in the "Me, me, me, I, I, I," syndrome. They hide their extreme selfishness with the opposite. They will say, "I am always doing things for everyone else, but never for myself." That is again, BS! Never, ever, forget that these abusers will use the defense mechanism know as, "denial," to trick you and even themselves. Remember they act the opposite of what they are. So, expect a show of courage and bravery to mask cowardice and inability to face reality. Also, they will always be having aches and pains and sicknesses and illnesses. They will spend much time describing their pains and problems to every single person they can find. They will ask you how you are feeling but they are only secretly hoping that you will say in return, "How are YOU feeling?" That is what they really want, so then they will tell you for a very long time how many pains they have and what they tried and how those didn't work. This will bring them more emotional food for their forever-starving psyches. Then they are encouraged to continue the abuse. Sometimes, you may want to grab them and yell, "Hey, guess what, I have needs for attention too. However, I don't have affairs to get that attention though. I don't need to cheat and lie and steal and manipulate and trick and act, and be inappropriately seductive, to get that attention. I also seek attention but I do it without being a low class faker, and a dishonest sleaze." One of the methods of responding to the hurtful behavior of a narcissist is through revenge. There are many paths to use for that. Even so, I would first like to see the general reaction from fellow sufferers who have also been tolerating the constant psychological abuse coming from a self absorbed partner, before moving to other stages I wish to illuminate in this dimly lit cave. __________ The goal of this website is to give support to people who are facing problems in their relationship related to cheating, abuse and narcissism. I am living in Europe and English is not my native language, I wish you will excuse me if I make some grammatical errors. I have a background in neuroscience and behavioral sciences and I am currently doing brain research related to these topics in university in my home country. I decided to write in English because I wish to reach as many people as I can around the world. __________ Dear Friend, Thank you for your email. You write well and right to the point about these difficult issues. I would be happy to read more of your views regarding these matters. Dear Visitor, please leave your comment regarding the above article. What do you think about the points the writer is making? Do you agree or disagree with her regarding the true nature of a narcissist? Do you have personal experience that can verify what she is stating in her article? Please write your comments and thoughts by using "comments" section below. You do not have to be logged in to leave your comment, just write your thoughts, enter the security code and you are done. Thank you for your feedback! - Maria If you wish to submit your own story and get feedback and support for your situation or if you wish to contact me for any other reason, click
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