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Hi Maria,
I was married to a man for 17 years, who physically and emotionally abused me. I decided to separate from him with my 2 children and moved to this area. My plan was not to date anyone but to try and heal my wounds before embarking on to another relationship. Two weeks into my move, my mother got very ill so I took her to the hospital and that was the beginning of my nightmare.
I met the most charming man who in hindsight is a narcissist. This man works as an evangelist for one of the Christian organizations and as I was a Christian, I was only too happy because I had met my dream man and soul mate. The first two weeks of our relationship I had the most fantastic time. He treated me like a princess; he took me out every night to different restaurants. I felt God had finally brought someone into my life to make up for all the suffering I had undergone in the 1ast 17 years of marriage.
This charming man lost his mother, 4 weeks after we met. He called me at work and wanted me to come and be with him. I promised to come after work. I bought flowers and some food and took them to his place but he wasn’t there when I got there. I tried to contact him on his mobile but he wouldn’t pick it up and then later he sent me a text to say it was over. I was hurt but I wasn’t deeply in love with him at the time so I could handle it. I found the tone of his text message strange but I accepted it.
Lo and behold he sent another text the following day to say he didn’t mean it, so we made up again. Prior to dating this man, I had only slept with one man which was my ex husband, so he kept pestering me for sex which I initially refused but gave in after sometime. He knew my vulnerability; he knew I was a Christian, a woman with morals and integrity. I don’t take alcohol and he is an alcoholic but is in denial. Each time he goes to the pub, he will send me a text finishing the relationship and then apologizes the following day. He took me to nice places, paid for everything; he took me to Christian concerts and was more than happy to pay for everything.
 With time, I felt in love with this prince charming. My mother never liked him because she saw through him and asked that she doesn’t come to our house. There was a lot of friction between my mother and myself and I always had to lie whenever I was going to see him. I didn’t like the person I was turning into. This man will go to the pub everyday and get drunk, and start talking about himself and how he was good for me, but he was inappropriate with other women, promised me something and changed his mind the following day. He will never do anything for me that I need; he will only do something if he is going to benefit from it.
For a year I was his sexual object. Each time I finished work, which was a long way from home, I would get off the train to go and do my second duty because my day would never finish until that duty had been fulfilled. He usually wanted to know the exact time I would get there and then he will have sex with me, not even offering me water and then I will be gone within an hour and a half to see my kids. He was taking an injection similar to Viagra so he needed to know exactly what time I had to be there.
Majority of the time, he was rough during sexual intercourse, he was drunk and it would take him long time. Most of the time, I laid there crying during the process, feeling dirty and like a prostitute but I was so in love with him I couldn’t say no. I was only too happy to please him but at the same time dying inside. He started to call me a rug doll and I explained that he cant expect me to go to work and come back and expect me to just jump into bed with him and have sex, when he doesn’t even offer me a drink. He works from home and goes to his Christian organization once a week so he is always drunk.
3 months into the relationship I invited my best friend to meet with him and he asked for my friend’s number when we were in the pub which my friend refused and told me. I confronted him there and then and so we both left. He always said I was nagging him and said I was draining him because each time he does what is wrong I confronted him and he will always defend himself. But at the same time he used to say he likes the fact that I am not a walk-over and I was feisty. I was very devastated to be insulted and humiliated in front of my best friend. I should have left then but didn’t. (Click the link below to read the rest of this story).
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The goal of this website is to give support to people who are facing problems in their relationship related to cheating, abuse and narcissism. I am living in Europe and English is not my native language, I wish you will excuse me if I make some grammatical errors. I have a background in neuroscience and behavioral sciences and I am currently doing brain research related to these topics in university in my home country. I decided to write in English because I wish to reach as many people as I can around the world.
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Dear Friend,
Thank you for your letter. I am sorry to hear what you have been going through. It is clear that you made the right decision when you left this man. He was nowhere near worthy of you. You tried everything you can to make the relationship work, you were not to blame of your boyfriend's rude behavior, cheating and lies. Dear Friend, I know you are grieving right now but believe me, in a long run you will be so much happier without this person who is putting you through such misery.
 You wrote that before this man you only had experience of being with one man, your husband, who was abusive towards you. Perhaps this is one reason why you could not clearly see the true nature of your boyfriend sooner. You have no experience of living with a man who is treating you well and with respect. Had you been living with a person like that before, perhaps you might have seen the warning signs sooner and realize that your ex boyfriend could never have made you happy.
Dear Friend, I am not saying these things to "blame you", on the contrary I am saying them so that you would not think you have failed in yet another relationship. None of what happened was your fault. You were simply unlucky and happened to get together with mentally abusive man.
In your past life you were used to living with a man who was treating you badly and you tried to make that relationship work for 17 years. Perhaps that is why you were not ready to give up on this relationship immediately but wanted to try everything you could to make things work. People react differently in such circumstances. Some people leave when they see first signs of abusive personality. Others feel they want to try everything they can to make things work. Dear Friend, you belong to latter category. You tried all you could for this relationship and you saw it does not work. You never have to question your decision: It was the right one. Now you can concentrate on finding your own happiness.
You wrote you are sometimes feeling as if you want to revenge your boyfriend by exposing him. I am glad you were questioning this intention in your letter. I believe that if you do it, in a long run you would feel bad about it. Once your anger and bitterness towards your boyfriend has faded, you will feel bad thinking you acted against your own principles.
Some people would not have any problems revenging in a situation like that, but based on your email you seem to be the kind of a person who would most likely end up feeling sorry about it afterward. I recommend you do not do anything in the heat of the moment, these things only happened a week ago, you must give your mind some time to calm down. Wait at list several months. If you still by that time feel you want to expose your ex boyfriend, you can consider it again then. By that time your judgment is not clouded by your current pain and anger. I am not saying you should or should not expose your ex boyfriend, all I am saying is that you should wait that your emotions will calm down before making any decisions.
Dear Friend, you sound like a kind and goodhearted woman. You ended up having a relationship with a wrong man. Your ex boyfriend treated you badly, lied to you and cheated on you, but you were too much in love with him to let go. So many people who visit my website are going through same kinds of troubles in their relationship. You are not alone. It is such a good thing that you have been strong enough to end this relationship. It was in your hands to either to let it continue or to end it, and even though you were not able to make the decision immediately, eventually you found the strength in you to leave. Please feel proud of yourself for being strong enough to make that difficult decision. Many women stay in this sort of relationship much longer before they find the strength to leave. (Click the link below to read the rest of this reply).
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To read more about how to get over cheating and narcissism, please visit page Recovery After Cheating and Narcissism.
Warm hug,
Maria
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Stories - Narcissism 
So I found my husbands lover in m...
(The rest of this story has been moved to another location, please read the story and Maria's joint reply to both this writer and to the person who posted the previous comment from here: link:http://www.cheating-infidelity.com/Home/personal-stories-narcissistic-spouse/218-after-ending-relationship-with-narcissistic-husband-the-road-to-recovery.html)