Hello Maria,

I was so excited to find your site, and to read that there is hope outside of this hell that I am held in bondage by right now.  I am in my twenties, my husband is in his forties, and we have been married for almost ten years and been together for a bit longer. We met when I was 16 and got married when I was 17 and pregnant with our child. I was an emancipated minor, so in the united states, it was legal for him to marry me.  It was by far the biggest and worst mistake of my life to marry him.

I left him when our child was three years old. We filed for divorce, and I felt like I was moving on.  Until he played some tricky moves with custody, and out of fear of losing my child I went back to him.  Everything was great when I went back... he finally showed me attention, and finally seemed to love me.  That was until I got pregnant with our second child... then he slipped back to his old ways.

I was devastated.  For ten years I have blamed myself, felt like if only I was a better wife, mother, housekeeper, or person then maybe he would love me.  I changed just about everything about myself from the girl I was ten years ago.  All I wanted was to be loved by him.

I now realize that the person who I have been living with will never love me, and will never be any of the things he promises when he feels like he is losing me.... Those are all just more lies.  It has taken me a very long time to come to realize this, but I am glad I finally have, especially since I have two little ones who I do not want to pick up their fathers behavior.

Here is my question to you! I now want to break free..... as I said I am in my twenties, and I am in the middle of school to get a profession. My husband has always resented me going to school, and has never given me any kind of praise or help when it has come to school.  However, I am not able to support myself and my children at least until I finish this next semester...

Last time I left, he sold almost everything he had to pay for a lawyer to fight me for custody of our first child. Now I have two children, and am expecting the same battle again.  How do I leave him, and what is the best way to make sure I win my children?  My husband is so smooth that my whole family thinks he is amazing and treats me so well... so I am on this alone.

Sometimes I feel like I will never be free....  He has had control over me for so long, that being free just looks like something I will only dream of..... but I want to fight through that... I want to be free!!!

Any advice you have would be so highly appreciated. Congrats on freeing yourself, and please keep your sites going to help those of us who dream of being free!!!! Thank you so very very much.

Dear Friend,

Thank you for your email and for your kind words regarding my websites. Positive feedback from my visitors and readers gives me energy and motivation to keep doing this work. I am glad you found my site and decided to write to me. By doing so you have taken the first step to break free from your unsatisfying marriage.

You are still quite young and you have already been through a lot in your life. You got married to your husband when you were very young. You also had your first child while you were still a teenager. Even though you loved your husband, you started to feel you were not happy and you wanted to end the marriage after couple years, but ended up returning to your husband after he threatened that you might lose your child.

Based on your letter it sounds like your marriage is not built on a very healthy basis. You said your husband forced you to return to him by threatening that you might lose your child. This kind of a behavior is never a good sign in a person who should be your most trusted partner in this life. Marriage should be based on mutual voluntary will to be together.

You said your husband behaved well towards you until your second child was born, but since then you have not felt happy in your marriage. You have now reached the point where you are hoping to break free from this negative relationship but you are not sure how and when to do this. Dear Friend, you are not alone with these kinds of thoughts. So many people are in a similar situation as you, trying to find the answers to these exactly same questions.

I understand how difficult it is to end a relationship with someone one loves and has children with. You said that all you wished was that your husband would love you. It is clear based on your letter that you have loved your husband very much. One of the hardest things in life is to admit that sometimes love is not enough, no matter how much we wish it would be. You cannot change the personality of your husband. If you stay with him, in a long run you sacrifice your own happiness.

You said you have already changed much as a person during last ten years. Do not let your husband keep influencing your life in a negative way any longer than he already has. You are still young, you have your whole life ahead of you. It is hard to break free from a negative relationship, but I have never heard of anyone who has succeeded to break free and has later regret it.

Based on your letter I sincerely believe it would be best for you to end this relationship. It seems clear that you are not feeling happy in your marriage and in a long run your happiness is all that matters. As I said you are still young, the world is open for you, you can do whatever you wish with your life. Do not spend these precious years of your youth with a person who is making you feel miserable.

You are not tied to your husband just because you have children with him. This man will always be part of your life since you share children, but you are not forced to spend the rest of your life with him if you do not feel happy in your relationship. On the contrary, I strongly believe it is in the best interest of you and your children if you are happy and feel completely comfortable with your life. Based on your letter it seems that at this moment this is not the case.

Dear Friend, you asked how you can break free from this relationship. If you have good relationship with your family, I encourage you to talk to them openly about your situation. Your family and your friends are on your side. If you feel your family members cannot support you enough, I encourage you to go to talk to an attorney on your own and find out in what ways your husband can complicate your life should you leave him. First find out exactly where you stand and then start to plan your next move.

If you cannot afford to go to talk to a lawyer, you can go to meet a representative of the social services of your country to get instructions and information regarding what you should do next in order to start your own, separate life. The most important thing is not to stand still and do nothing. You have already taken the first step by writing to me. You are already on your way towards freedom. Do not stop now. Keep your eyes on the prize: An independent, happy new life with your children. You deserve that!

You said that in an ideal situation it might be possible for you to start to support yourself and your children starting from next summer. If you start the divorce proceedings now, this coming spring will be emotionally very stressful time for you and it may make it difficult for you to concentrate on your studies. So in an ideal situation you should wait until summer before making the first move to leave. However, often things do not work out in an ideal way in this life. If you feel it is too stressful for you to stay with your husband for another six months, do not hesitate to take action to leave sooner. However, if you feel strong enough to wait, financially your situation would be more stable and this would help you in a process of building your new life.

It would be good if you could talk about all these issues with someone who you can truly trust. Do you think you could share your thoughts with some of your family members or with your trusted friends? It will help to clear your own thoughts if you are able to process them with someone. It also helps you to plan your future. Do not think that you have no other option but to stay with your husband. You are living in a country where the law is on your side and you do not have to succumb to the will of your husband if you are not feeling happy with him. Do not allow yourself to be treated badly. Stand up for your rights and put your happiness as a priority!

Dear Friend, I know it is frightening to leave this person who has been part of your life for so long. It is literally a jump to the unknown. But if you are currently feeling unhappy, then whatever the future holds it can not be worse than what you are now going through. Stay strong! You have your whole life ahead of you. If you have read other stories on this website, you have seen how devastating it can be to stay in a negative relationship for decades. Do not deliberately put yourself into that situation when you have a chance to have a different kind of life for you and your children.

You have already seen what kind of a person your husband is. You know his personality very well. All the cards are on the table. You know exactly what you will get if you stay with your husband. Do not settle with a half-life your husband can provide you with. You deserve so much better, you deserve happiness!

You wrote: "...I am on this alone". Dear Friend, you are not alone. Everyone who visit this website knows what you are going through. Please write to me anytime you wish. I will help you and support you any way I can, as long as you need. Please do not hesitate to write.

To read more about how to end a dissatisfying relationship and about the consequent recovery process, please visit section Recovery.

Warm hug,

Maria

If you wish to submit your own story and get feedback and support for your situation or if you wish to contact me for any other reason, send me email to This e-mail address is being protected from spambots. You need JavaScript enabled to view it

• Add New
• Search

Comments (23)

<< Start < Prev 1 2 Next > End >>

<< Start < Prev 1 2 Next > End >>

• |2011-03-10 03:15:15 San  - Good advice
  Your email is full of good, practical advice, Lynn. Thanks.
  
  San
  • 0
  • 0

  Reply

• |2011-03-06 04:40:38 lynn  - Don't believe the Lies
  It's amazing to me as I read the stories... it makes me question if I wrote these other posts while I was sleeping. The stories are soo similar, and I find myself saying "oh yes, I know how that feels... he did that".
  I never would have believed my ex was cheating on me, until my best friend told me the truth... and I found an email to a 'friend'... and then he did admit to having an emotional affair. I did not accept the signs until I was out of the marriage when I finally allowed myself to see him for who he was. I spent many years hiding his imperfections to the children and our friends/family.
  As for being qualified to find work.. I truly believe anyone who raises a family is more qualified than the kid out of college. You do not need a degree to be successful. I interviewed for a sales job and they said, you have no sales experience... I answered "I've raised 2 kids, I have to negotiate everyday, and if I can't close the deal then I'm in trouble!".... I got the job! :-) As mom's we are excellent at multi-tasking... you need to sit down and list all the things you do in a day, write it all down... take your time and come back to it after a break... write down what you've done that week. Then match it up with the fancy resume words from Monster.com... and get out and find a job, or create your own business.
  Make sure to surround yourself with positive people. You can also reach out to the local women's shelter... give them a call and they will give you the tools. You do not need to be slapped in the face to suffer abuse. You are not alone! When you feel to weak to stand up, think about your kids and think about the Legacy you want to leave them.....
  • 2
  • 0

  Reply

• |2011-02-17 21:29:09 Perla  - San
  My future to be Ex husband married me for everything but for love and establishing a relationship. I came from a muuuuch higher socoioeconimc status than he did. My family was very close and communicative. My family was very generous and always had people coming over to visit. In my culture the man pays for the wedding.. but we payed the wedding and he never said to us Thank you for the beautiful wedding. My mom gave him over 1000 dollar watch and he not only thanked her but never used it while married to me. I am sure now that I left he will use it to impress the next victim. My parents always gave better gifts and we are not rich but my family likes to be generous. When he went to visit my family, he was received with huge banquets.. and then the next day I went to see his family and I wasn't offered a glass of water. I wasn't hurt for them not doing it but for my ex husband not feeling obligated to treat me like his princess d/t how special my family was towards him the previous day. He never thanks me when I cooked to him on a weekly basis. If I said to him if he liked the food he would say to me I was fishing for compliments. He hated when i brought up to the conversation the trashy stuff that I notice his family was or did that they hid while dating him. He made stupid comments about my family that wasn't even true.
  He had a haughty attitude eventhough he grew up in the hood, his parents still live in the hood. He really had to built a big wall, a huge lie of the reality.. because I married a jerry Springer family. I don;t care if someone is poor.. I care for the heart, fro someone loyal and truthful.. nothing that they are.
  They are user/abusers, ungrateful, cruel people.
  They forget all the good you do for them or take it for granted... but if they do anything.. you have to be in your knees.
  I pitty this time of mind sick people.
  Living with a Narc truly made me feel that the pain of been single was not pain at all.. compared to living with a sucking parasite.
  My time, plans and schedule had to be accomodating to him. He even said to me when I complained a few times.. b/c I held my breath b/c I am strong and have dignity, that he was been the "best", that if I wanted to see his ugle side he had no problem showing it.
  I already saw in him a monster.. I couldn't phanton how much uglier can you get besides actually killing physically like you did emotionally?
  They are vindictive.. so on divorce and separation.. evil inside them multiplies to places any normal healthyhuman been can't imagine... you need a lawyer and protector...
  
  • 0
  • 0

  Reply

• |2011-02-17 19:31:37 San  - Perla
  You have said so much truth in your posting. For instance, my ex could never thank me or my parents who left me a decent inheritance, which I used to pay humongous bills and support us through a move across the country. They didn't have to leave us anything,and I didn't have to use it that way...(I wish I had used it to leave him). I didn't want any groveling, but a "thank you" and recognition of something good done for us would have been nice. I even trapped him in the hall one day and said..."say thank you, say you're grateful for the help we got from the inheritances..." He couldn't; he just choked up and escaped back into the computer room. That was many years ago...but he still can't say it. I guess it makes them realize how nothing they are.
  
  And friends...none! Two friends from childhood through high-school that he sees perhaps every 7-10 years... A friend of mine told me she never will be serious about a man who hasn't other male friends, people he socializes with...she's smart; but now I know, and I require that, too.
  
  And I would say to everyone...no matter how you have to do it - pay cash, borrow the money, use a credit card, get "legal aid" for free...BUT SEE AN ATTORNEY AS SOON AS YOU KNOW SOMETHING IS WRONG. YOU NEED SOMEONE ON YOU'RE SIDE WHO KNOWS WHAT'S WHAT!!! And, I'd recommend an older attorney who has seen more and been in court more. I thought my ex was right and I couldn't touch my own money without telling or asking him. And, that was wrong!
  
  San
  • 0
  • 0

  Reply

• |2011-02-14 04:07:33 Anonymous
  I know you think that if he cheated it would make it better. The truth is that if he cheats on you, b/c he has already made yu feel so unwanted, unloved, unvalued, you would end up justifying it b/c they have a way to NEVER say I am sorry. They are the vicitms for been married to us.. and they are so unhappy and miserbale for been stuck to us. I also have a friend from hispanic decent and her husband is a Macho and N
  She is in your same situation with regards to money. She has been abused for over 20 years.. but he has NEEEVER hit her.. so she says to me
  "I wish he would hit me" so I can go to the police" Their silent treatments is a way to kill you without leaving a carcass behind.
  I don't have children.. I was begging for a child. I can thank God now that it didn't happend. I know that N get ver y ugly with divorce and poson their kids heads against their spouses. They are manipulators and since moeny talks.. they always get their way in courts. It is sad but it is true. I also have another friend who dealt with 22 yrs of abuse from a Narc
  until he left her. The stress was so bad she lost all her hair and never got it back
  She looks like a chemo patient and also gained over 100 lbs. That's what abuse can do.
  Since at this time you can't leave for your personal reasons.. what I can recommend to you is the following.. which were things that I did before leaving my home.. for my sanity.
  1. Be as secretive as possible
  2. If you can, sleep in another room
  3. Start creating a personal agenda that only involves YOU and your childred
  Truly taking him out of your equation.
  Start to make a mental thought he is a "temporary" money fix.. and actually see him as you are using him for a purpose.. as he used you and wated all your years and physical/emotional health
  4. Really believe that his behavior is NOT your fault.. YES you may have flaws, you may make mistakes... BUT we all do.. that doesn't give any human a right to do what they do.
  5. Don't try to make mind games with him.. You will never win. They don't have a heart, you do.. and the person capable of loving.. is able to hurt.. All they can feel is hate and they are vindictive
  Your best revenge is been apathetic to anything that revovles around him
  Any reaction that he provokes in you is energy that he stils from you. He lives out of your energy. We are spiritual energetic beins and he is literally sucking the live out of you.
  make a mental picture you are cutting the cord from him.
  Someone from this website told me that the reason we stay is b/c we go thru a trauma bond.. like the people get attached to their kidnappers
  Also understand they will never change.. it is a pathology.. and despite I am a belier and know that for God nothing is impossible...
  This people lack love, emotions they are filled with pride
  They are dark, manipulative, cruel
  I don't belive that when they are hurting you with no remorse.. that is something God is going to forgive. They have been doing this all their life with no repentance and actually they are the victims.
  Also realize that trying to get strength and healthy while still living in the same roof is exremely hard. I couldn't do it. I held my breath weeks at a time and then months at a time... but I couldn't do it.. He was too strong to beat... He is a dead empty fraude.. and I am a human capable of feeling and recognizing I have needs. Once you truly understand what he has.. know you have nothing to do with it.. by now you know his tactics
  You should feel empowered and free
  My husband didn't cheat.. but he did with respect to never loving me, nver touching me or giving children or future.
  As soon as I left the house.. One month later he had already met someone online and brought her to my house and my bed. I am still not divorced.
  We will be divorcing in the next 2 months.
  He made me feel disposable, replaceable and showed it with his actions by finding someone else like I never existed. His family has played dumb and have not even contacted my family to apologize for what an AssW their son was.
  Start planning to get a job.. in the case of my freidn her husband left her.. and after more than 20 yrs of not working she had to look for a job.. and she was mentally sick... for so much abuse, but then she really had no choice. Her husband left. So think in your head.. if i really didn't have a choice and he left... What would I do. Think the worse.. and be prepared.
  There's alot of info in may websites about Narc
  like:
  Kaleah Laroche
  Sam Vacknin in You tube
  Men who can't love website google this title
  Once we live with a N we become codependant.
  There a good book called The Wizard of Oz and other Narcissist
  also another book called In the meantime
  This were recomm by my counselor.
  There another book called : Codependance, the dance of the wounded souls by Robert Burney
  
  • 0
  • 0

  Reply

• |2011-08-20 03:39:38 Sue  - Oh, how true
  I can so identify with the submitters of these letters. I was married for 31 years to an N, whose mom was also an N. At the 12 yr point, I had an 8, a 6 and two 3 yr olds to raise, and he had an affair because I did not pay HIM enough attention. Not to mention he was taking college classes and was never home for our children. We nearly divorced, except he threatened to take my kids, and I was worried since I only had a p/t job and he controlled the money. I stayed another 19 yrs, and he did it again, but this time was so brazen that he did not want to work on us, and placed his mom as his top priority, then shortly after I moved out, moved his new gf in. She is a homewrecking gold digger, but he tries to put off that he is happy. We are still fighting over the money issues in the divorce, but at least my kids all see him for what he really is. They know that had I not stayed with him, they would not have gotten their college funds, and I did not want them raised by a string of stepmoms and gf's. I am 52, single and broke, but have the respect of my kids. Means more to me than money. Please say a prayer the judge grants me my half of everything, as that is what he used to attract the women. He was a consummate flirt and even though I asked him not to, he would do it even worse -- just to humiliate me.
  I left in March and now can appreciate not having to cater to him, and wonder who he was trying to make time with. Hope they are totally miserable with each other (according to her last bf, she will take him and leave him, but tonight, the ex tells one of my sons he is getting married next year.)
  As an N, he about flipped when my son told him he already knew of the wedding plans, that he heard from me, and I had talked to the old boyfriend. He about dropped a load. Hope he talks to the man himself, as I gave him ph # and name.
  May we all laugh as that is one N who has practically been depantsed in public by me talking to the gf's ex.
  Thanks
  
  • 0
  • 0

  Reply

• |2011-02-14 03:08:53 V  - steps to getting out
  Thanks for sharing Perla. I wish he cheated, it would make things easier. All these years I always felt so unloved, but thought it was just me being sensitive. Npartner so cold,emotionless. I now fight all I have within me to not cry near him because he has completely dismissed my tears.
  For now I have to play along until our financial situation is stable for my children's sake. Now that I am building a wall and don't cave in to him he does not like this. When I am strong he gets very angry. He's used to me falling apart the moment he's shows disapproval. But I'm not doing that anymore and he just gets angrier and angrier. I don't know what to do???Now is not the time to leave I have no job, no money and 3precious children to take care of.Has anyone out there actually planned ahead and eventually got out??I have to admit I am afraid. My chest pains are getting a little better but I'm still having trouble every now and then. Today at church he had given me the keys as he was heading out to meet with someone. He was telling me where he left the car parked.I said "why'd you park there??"-well that was it he handed the paper -turned and backhanded the pen loose my way. SO much anger!! it's so wrong. I can't imagine what life would be like with someone who loved me and was actually nice.??? Can't even imagine.
  • 0
  • 0

  Reply

• |2011-02-13 01:13:08 Ann  - Power of control
  V some people love to have the power to control others and I find that many people that believe in god etc feel the need to demand that others show them some respect and they become very overbearing with wanting things their way. I also believe that it has to do with the past and peoples upbringing and how they were treated. Having said all this I still see today that it is not a persons responsibility to try and correct the person that they are in relationship with as much as you may care for them it is really up to them to want to change. Unless we allow them to see there mistakes for what they really are and dont give into it their may be room for change. For me on a personal level I will leave before N can ever think of change if he ever thinks of it at all.
  
  ann
  • 0
  • 0

  Reply

• |2011-02-12 15:16:37 v  - thank you ann/ correction
  that first sentence is a typO. I meant "Althoughhe does NOT cheat.
  • 0
  • 0

  Reply

• |2011-02-13 06:17:25 Perla  - Can a Narcissist be a Christian
  V,
  You mentioned your husband read the Bible every morning. My future to be exhusband did the same, but if he saw me in the floor going through a anxiety attack (which i never had b4 marrying him) d/t severe neglect and emotional abuse, he would walk by without a blink. Someone who knows the Bible and behaves this way has no chance in God's eyes for forgiviness. I believe that N are OCD, an some use erligion to fill their void. They do it in ritualist obssesive compulsive ways. My husband didn't supposedly cheat on my while married to him..BUT I was cheated by not been provided the basics of a marriage which is Love, Sex and & Future (Kids). I used to tell him he thought he was a good Xian just because he didn't beat or cheat and payed taxes to Auncle Sam. When I quoted bible verses where it showed the truth regarding marriage and his obligatiosn, he got mad.
  Christianity stands its grounds in Love, Forgiviness, Tolerance, Truth, Humility.
  Narcissist lack all of these things. They are empty souls and energy vampires looking for good willing people to suck their lives.
  Once I found the truth of his condition, called his exwife and she went through the same and I read stories of other people online. I felt healed and liberated. I learned that I was to blame in respect of my poor choices when looking for a mate. I had already dated 4 narcissits. I didn't know about N back then. I thought they were emotionally unavaiable/crippled man, woman haters, gay
  & commitment phobics. All of this things are symptoms of a narcissist. We can become and inverted N. For 2 1/2 years of my marriage I thought it was ALL my fault his ugle behavior.
  My aim was perfection, which was demoralizing.
  He didn't even thank me. With time he got uglier, more cruel, condescending with stupid jokes. He spent hours talking with strangers online, but couldn't spend 5 minutes with his wife. I was married to him for just few weeks and when i went to visit his mom to go take care of her and came back he had porn in the computer. We were newly weds...
  He had no friends.. He was an antisocial psycho path. This people are very secretive, & vindictive
  You can never win with them b/c you have a heart and they don't. The best way to KILL a Narcissist is to leave quietly and truly show apathy. If you accept his calls or emails or show anger, you feed his narcisstic supply.
  I am a Xian, but belive that we are energy/spitiual beings. You need to not only seperate yourself physically but also stop thinking of him. At the beginning is OK, you want to understand.. but then stop. They will
  feel it.. and the new vicitim will have to be the new bank for this energy supply.
  I useto hate been single and feel alone.. but I truly tasted feeling alone been with a narcissit. He was the ugliest mirror to look at as he tried to reflect his ugliness in you.
  They try to make you psych crazy,weaken you and
  confuse you. when I noticed within weeks of marriage how difficult it was to talk to him.
  I called his Narcisstic mom and said I needed her help. She said to me "make him believe is his idea" when you want something. She talks to him like he is a God. She told me before marriage "It is not b/c he is my son, but he is near perfect" How can I say No to him when he is so good" He can only have a one way street relationship.. I needed to give give and give
  I couldn't afford to make a msitake, get sick, get old or need him in any way.
  I now this condition is more common in man.
  I guess is b/c mothers tend to be kinda funny when raising boys. I am always making sure my sister's rais their boys well, so they don;t do this to any girl.
  The reason this people tend to be successful at something (big liars, body or money) is b/c they are robotic and compulsive. They have energetic drive with no emotions.
  Despite his second divorce his family still supports him like he is the victim. His crazy mom said to me... if I can't be your mother in law, can i be your aunt.. They are messed up..
  Bunch of liars and screwed up people.
  • 0
  • 0

  Reply

• |2011-02-12 15:14:54 v  - thank you ann
  I appreciate your response, I am so overwhelmed with all I am learning about Npartner. It so describes my husband Although he does cheat, he measures up in every other way. He is dedicated to his christian walk...wakes up and goes to prayer, and bible study...it's so confusing to me that he can spend an hour in prayer and study and come out and be so cold to me. It doesn't add up with how he actually behaves. He is very self centered, and gets rageful too often. My oldest daughter said to me the other day, dad ask me if I ever think about him..... I would never be so self absorbed to tell anyone let alone my child - " do you spend time thinking about me". Soo weird-self absorbed. The list goes on and on....I prob own a total of 4 pairs of shoes, he has at least 25. Our dresser has 5drawers 4 are his one is mine.Our closet upper shelf is stacked with jeans all his. The hanging space is 85% his mine maybe 15%. I am not exaggerating...and that is little stuff. My eyes feel so open now to this behavior. In his sport he is treated like a star-which i imagine why he is always gone to be in that environment as just being a daddy doesn't fill that need of his. OMG - all these years i have supported it without realizing it,yet knowing things weren't right...so so sad. I remain hopeful - one day I will be free.
  • 0
  • 0

  Reply

• |2011-02-11 05:18:30 Ann  - You are not alone
  V a year ago I was still trapped in believing everything to do with Npartner was my fault. We have been together for 20 years, could say we kinda grew up together. 10 years were on and off and the other 10 was when I had his kids and he has been stuck with me. So having said that we live together now for those 10 years like a marriage but without the marriage as he would never marry or at least not me anyway.
  Having children from my marriage years ago (two boys) which Npartner helped raise by being in and out of their lives, I could honestly say to you that I have never worked but to be completely honest the work you do at home should not be put down and that is the most tedious work of all and you dont even get paid for it. After having my first to Npartner, remember I already had two boys from my marriage, well, he decided that I was not pulling enough weight around the place so he insisted I go get paid work even though he has enough to by the whole block in our neighbourhood. He pushed and told his parents that he is in debt because I do not help out...Go figure, I just had a baby and he was off work for 2 years so got himself in debt 20 gran...I ended up having another child after that so I can complete his perfect picture of a family so now I have 3 BOYS AND A GIRL. He was always misserable and I was always beneath him. Anyway to give you insight I now work partime and have gone on a pension (single) I also just got help from my sister's hubby and got myself a car. The next step for me is to leave and I must say that I look forward to put all this behind me as I cannot believe that I allowed this toxic situation to happen. I am just here as a reminder to those that even though I am still living with him and am struggling with emotions, because I have his children and we had issues in our relationship he has decided that he is entitled to go meet someone else so as we speak we live together but are seperated. He does not hide that fact that he has moved on and I struggle with thoughts of "is it me? and I to blame for him being with someone else? maybe if I was a certain way?" ALL OF THAT STUFF... Well, as I say I am here to tell others that if I can make progress than it is possible and you just have to believe it and it will happen. Yes I am getting stronger and I am even past the anger towards him as it all seems so irrelevant to me now, what him moving on in his life and all.
  
  I know this is a long post but I just want the message to come across that we can achieve success in that their is life after infidelity and cheating and narcissism...
  Thanks
  Ann
  • 2
  • 0

  Reply

Write comment

Your Contact Details:

Name:

Email: do not notifynotify

Comment:

Title:

Message:

Security

Please input the anti-spam code that you can read in the image.