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The goal of this website is to give support to people who are facing problems in their relationship related to cheating, abuse and narcissism. I am living in Europe and English is not my native language, I wish you will excuse me if I make some grammatical errors. I have a background in neuroscience and behavioral sciences and I am currently doing brain research related to these topics in university in my home country. I decided to write in English because I wish to reach as many people as I can around the world. If you wish to read more about me, please visit page Site Overview.
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It is very difficult to end a relationship with a narcissist. It took long time for me to realize the negative effect my relationship was having on my life. I started to have all the symptoms of depression. I could not sleep, I kept waking up at night, I had bad dreams related to my narcissistic spouse. I knew my symptoms were caused by my bad relationship, but it took long time for me to realize that the only way I could regain my happiness, mental balance and physical health was to end the relationship with my narcissistic spouse.
It took about one year for me to make the decision to break up. I was mentally "addicted" to my narcissistic spouse and even though my spouse treated me badly I felt life without my spouse would be even more sad and empty than life with him. This is typical trap where people in mentally and physically abusive relationships fall into. It is almost impossible for an outsider to realize how deep those mental hooks can be buried and how hard it is to break free from an abusive relationship with a narcissistic spouse. If you wish to read about the methods I used to teach my mind and brain to get rid of my "addiction" to a narcissist, please visit page Recovery After Cheating.
 At one point I was looking back and analyzing how last couple years had been for me. I realized I had not been feeling happy one single day in my relationship during last one year. There had been some moments when I felt some kind of happiness but every day there was at list one occasion when I felt sad, depressed or anxious when I was thinking of my relationship with my narcissistic spouse. I realized I had not been able to enjoy my relationship for a long time. And if that is the case, what is the point in being in a relationship in a first place?
That was the point when i knew I had to stop the relationship. I started to detach myself mentally from my narcissistic spouse. I forced myself to think of life without my spouse as something positive rather than negative. Human brain is an amazing device. The brain does not change overnight, for good or bad. It takes long time for depression to develop and it takes long time for the brain to recover from depression. I realized I had slowly become depressed because of constant mental abuse performed by my narcissistic spouse.
My depression had developed gradually over the course of several years, that is why I had not realized what was happening until I was looking at things from distance. My friends had told me I no longer laughed or smiled as often as I used to, but I had not payed attention to that. My memory had become worse, I started to forget things I used to remember well. All these things were warning signs of depression but I had not been aware of them.
Dreams of life without a narcissist
When I finally realized the seriousness of my condition I decided to change my life. I decided I would not let my narcissistic spouse to destroy my life and my future. I decided to undo what my narcissistic spouse had done to me. I knew the brain is very plastic and that if the brain can change to one direction, it can change to another as well. I decided to start to train my brain and teach myself new positive way of thinking, instead of dwelling in depression and sad thoughts. I started to force myself to think positive thoughts. I forced myself to smile and laugh and little by little those things started to come out naturally, on their own. (Click the link below to read the rest of this story).
>> CLICK HERE TO READ THE REST OF THIS STORY <<
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To learn more about the ways to train the brain to let go of narcissistic spouse, visit page Recovery After Cheating. To read more personal stories of life with a narcissistic spouse, go to section Personal Stories: Narcissistic Spouse. To read more about narcissism and how the mind of a narcissist works, go to section Narcissism. To read about cheating and how the mind of a cheater works, go to section Cheating and Infidelity. To read personal stories of life with a cheating spouse, go to section Personal Stories: Cheating and Infidelity.
You can write to me and tell about your experiences by going to page Personal Stories: Narcissistic Spouse, Information. If you wish to read more about me and my background, please go to page Site Overview. From Site Overview you can read short description of contents of this site. If you are in relationship with a narcissistic mental abuser, I believe you will find useful information from this site that will help you to heal. Go to other sections of this site by clicking Main Menu links (upper left bar).
- Maria
Ps. Please read this thread in discussion forum for more details about my relationship and how I was able to free myself from my narcissistic partner: How I was able to end relationship with my narcissistic spouse.
If you wish to submit your own story and get feedback and support for your situation or if you wish to contact me for any other reason, send me email to
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It truly is like a light-bulb clicks allowing us to finally see things crystal clear. As I read your blog I almost wondered if I wrote it myself in my sleep...sounds like the same things I've been thinking but never put into words. 'Eggshells" sooo true,and it's NO WAY to live! To have spent 2 years with a man who has never been wrong, never uttered the words "I'm sorry" - what a fool I've been with my heart. It's taken me over a month to mentally prepare myself & gain strength to take the lead and end this. Thank you for sharing!