___________ The goal of this website is to give support to people who are facing problems in their relationship related to cheating, abuse and narcissism. I am living in Europe and English is not my native language, I wish you will excuse me if I make some grammatical errors. I have a background in neuroscience and behavioral sciences and I am currently doing brain research related to these topics in university in my home country. I decided to write in English because I wish to reach as many people as I can around the world. ____________ Learn to Control Your Emotions
You have navigated to these pages because you are experiencing negative emotions related to narcissism or cheating in your relationship. Your husband or wife may have left you after cheating occurred, you may have left your spouse after you found out about cheating or you may have made the decision to try to save your relationship but you are having hard time forgetting the negative memories. You may feel extreme anger and pain when you think about the matters related to cheating. Painful memories may come to your mind at unexpected times, causing you emotional suffering, anxiety and depression. There is a biological basis for the painful emotions related to narcissism, cheating and other tragedies in life. If you understand why you feel the way you do it will be easier for you to control your emotions and get over the pain.
___________ The Amazing Brain - Understanding the Emotional Pain  I am currently doing brain research in university in my home country. Few years ago I became interested in the mechanisms of the mind and the brain which are responsible of the feelings of depression, anxiety and sadness related to tragedies in life such as cheating or living with a narcissistic spouse.
Think of the pain from an evolutionary point of view. If you accidentally place your hand on a hot stove, you feel the pain. The pain serves as a biological warning mechanism, informing you that something in your environment is harmful for you. The pain is forcing you to act: You quickly remove your hand from the stove. Mental pain also serves as a warning mechanism. For example, you feel the pain after finding out about cheating because one of the basic elements in your life has changed: You thought you could trust your spouse fully but that turned out to be a false belief. The pain you feel forces you to act: You will either try to stay together with your spouse, regain the trust and mend the relationship or you will leave your spouse (you remove the element that is causing you pain). Human brain is more flexible than one would think. We have the power to influence the way our brain is working in certain situations, in same fashion as it is possible to teach the brain for example to get rid of various phobias. A good example of the mind control is the ability to block the sensation of physical pain from entering the brain. In same fashion one can learn to suppress the mental pain related to the emotional withdrawal symptoms after ending the relationship with a narcissistic partner or to suppress the pain related to the memory of cheating. We do not have to go with the flow, we can control the way we feel and the way our life will evolve. ___________
How to Suppress the Emotional Pain  There is a physiological basis for the mechanism of the voluntary control of the brain and the mind. It is possible to teach the muscles in our body to move in new ways while learning to ride a bicycle, to dance etc. In same fashion it is possible to "train" the brain to react in certain ways in certain situations. It takes time for the brain to change, for better or worse. Your behavior will determine how fast or slowly you will recover after cheating or relationship with a narcissist.
If you dwell on negative memories and try to drown your grief into alcohol or isolate yourself from the world, you can be sure that the neuronal networks in your brain related to negative thoughts will be strengthened and your recovery will take longer. But if you decide to "force" your brain to adapt different kind of approach by using simple mental and physical exercises you can significantly speed up your recovery and learn to deal with the emotions related to negative memories. The most important thing for you to do right now is to get rid of the mental pain caused by the memory of cheating or unhappy events related to your narcissistic spouse. After that you can decide what you wish to do regarding your relationship. You may wish to stay with your husband or wife or you may wish to go your separate ways. Whatever you decide it is best that you make your decision with a clear mind, not when your thoughts are clouded by pain, anger and depression. ___________ Survival Package after Cheating or Mental Abuse  During my period of healing after experiencing dishonesty and narcissism in my relationship I wrote a book about the recovery process after mental tragedies in life. The goal of the book is to give factual scientific insights regarding the mental pain and to introduce ways to help the mind and the brain to heal faster. The book includes practical tips and information regarding what one can do to speed up the recovery after experiencing cheating or narcissism in a relationship.
The most important thing for you to do right now is not to let the actions of your spouse influence the quality of your life any further. The aim of this book is to help you to get over the negative feelings and gain control of your emotions. Once this has been achieved you can decide what you wish to do with your relationship. If your husband or wife has left you and is not willing to continue the relationship, this book will help you to get over your grief and move on with your life. If you wish to read the book you find download instructions at the end of this page (the book is in pdf format which makes it convenient to read). In the end of the book you find section "Survival Package After Cheating" with instructions of what you can do to ease the pain after you found out about cheating or betrayal. The book is easy to read and emphasis is on practicality. You can start the recovery process right now by downloading the book. Tomorrow you will have a whole new view of your situation and a clear idea of what to do to help yourself to get better as soon as possible. The download fee for the book is 15 USD. You will receive your copy of the book immediately after making the download payment. Secure Payloadz service is used to send the book to those who request it. If you wish to find out more about Payloadz go to the home page of the service at www.payloadz.com. Payments are processed through a secure Paypal service. If you are not familiar with Paypal visit www.paypal.com to learn more about the service. Payment can be made either with your existing Paypal account or with all major credit cards or via bank transfer (if this service is available in your country). For more details of the download process, please read the download instructions below. In addition to getting help for your own situation, by downloading this book you are helping me to maintain and further develop this website so that more people can find help from here. - Maria ___________ Download instructions
You can download the book by clicking the download link below to go to secure Paypal service page where you can make the download payment. The download fee for the book is 15 USD. The payment can be made with your existing Paypal account or with all major credit cards or via bank transfer (if this service is available in your country). Immediately after your payment has been received you will receive an email with a link to secure Payloadz service page where you can download your copy of the book (the book is in pdf format). You should receive this email within minutes after completing the payment. Should you encounter any problems at any stage of the download process, please contact me at
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Recovery
Aloha Maria, Mahalo for your website and for sharing what you have experienced and gone through in your life. I felt I had no one to turn to for help or advise because no one that I knew could relate or even understand what I was going through. So I turned to the internet and found your website and realized I wasn't alone. Just knowing that made me feel a whole lot better.
So.. i am in the military and so ...